(inspired by a true conversation with a friend)
Come on in, sit down on one of the couches, and kick back. Oh don't mind me, i'll be right there. My weapons of choice for long talks or "blah blah-ing" are a power-sized Strawberry Surf Rider from Jamba and the Hostess crunch donuts (soooooooooooo good). Now if you couldn't tell by now, i love to give advice and my opinion (and honestly, if you haven't noticed...you's is blind, son). Sure i have to admit, that i may or may not get a little long winded with them or turn into a "dead-horse beater" with them, but who cares...that just means i stick to my guns and not flake. Chalk it up to the patented "Beckman stubbornness"...actually, the Beckman men more like it. My mom is the stable one that keeps us from going off on people. Bless her heart, lol.
NOW...to the topic at hand
Being here at Rexburg and seeing more and more couples everywhere as well as many many very lovely ladies, love is always on the brain it seems. As an RM, thats pretty much the next big stage in life, so its on my mind a lot. Not that im going to get married this semester or perhaps next semester, but i'd love to (if possible) find that lovely young lady that can develop into a relationship that eventually leads to marriage. But hey, in due time right? But being in the midst of that, i also have friends that are in the same boat as myself. So whats an observer like me to do? Well....give my two cents of course! hahaha. So im going to give my thoughts on what guys and girls "should" look for when trying to find that "one". Please note, as i always have to do so i don't get my head collectively bitten off, its my opinion. And remember, i will breathe fire.
(Ready for this one? You're not? hmmm....well, too bad!)
FOR GUYS
Do's: Be a dang gentleman, geez! Yes, that means opening doors for her, showing her constant respect, giving up your seat, etc. I know, it actually takes some effort, but she'll love it. Engage in conversation with her friends when she's with them; she'll enjoy that you can have a good conversation with not just her and that you're not intimidated. Look for opportunities to serve other and help out, whether it's for her or just anyone. It could be collecting plates after a meal or taking out their kitchen trash or doing their dishes, ladies love that 'cause it shows you're 1.) responsible 2.) caring 3.) are just plain good hearted. If you're LDS, enjoy and volunteer to say prayers, serving at church, and going to the temple. Showing your spiritual side is always good. What do these things all add up to? It shows how capable you are at becoming a prospective husband and father. Sure, some girls go for much less (and for a small few, MUCH less) at least you're prepared to find someone better.
Don'ts: please, Please, PLEASE....for the love of everything thats good and pure, DO NOT BE A BRO!
(Ok, what is a bro? A "bro" is: a dude who wears a super tight polo or hollister shirt, drowns self is overpriced cologne, uses half a bottle of gel per use, hollers at girls from their cars trying to pick up chicks, uses past accomplishments as part of a "dating resume", is a total tool, and thinks Family Guy is the best show ever created...or any combination of those)
Where was i? oh yeah...DON'T BE A BRO! You look like a retard and really dont impress anyone. Plus, some girls absolutely like oh my gosh like those kinds of guys, so someone like me gets overshadowed. (But i guess thats ok, i'd rather be with a girl that detests all that) Teasing and making her feel dumb is bad, in my opinion. There's a difference between the light, flirtatious teasing and the kind that makes her feel less if she says something wrong or some other conceited reason you have.
Hmmmm....i thought i had more mud to sling, but my ammo is out. But not being a bro or a tool pretty much covers it.
Summary: Grow a pair and be a man and do what you're supposed to!
FOR THE LADIES:
(First off, i have a lot of female friends and some have vented their frustrations with guys and i do my best to give advice. I call it, "real guy advice", since i dont sugar coat things. Plus, im a guy and i have a little bit of inside info, haha.)
Do's: Be mature. As much as a sense of humor and having fun is, consider it more of a "time and place" thing. Have fun when you need to, but take some things serious when you need to. Don't let it totally change you, but let it make you even better. There is nothing more attractive and beautiful than a young lady that can be mature AND have fun. Look for qualities that last and are actually important. Is he responsible and treat you with the utmost respect? Will he make a good husband and father and provide? (for LDS) Is he a worthy priesthood holder? Does he enjoy and look forward to going to the temple? Sure, you want to be attracted to him, but that should never be the main reason. As Elder Bednar has said, be "physically, spiritually, and emotionally attracted". If you have those, you're doing pretty well. And also, remember..."Modest is Hottest" indeed, lol
Don'ts: Here we go...as heated as i get when talking about bros and tools, i get equally heated when talking about girls that play games. Leading guys on? BIG TURN OFF LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE! You get labeled, and thats never good. When you hold hands, cuddle, or due massive amounts of flirting, of course the guy is going to think you like him, duh! But then you act surprised when he says he does. Think about it: if a guy does that to you, you're going to think the exact same thing and feel that he likes you. If he doesn't when you thought he did, its very understandable to get upset at him. But when it's you doing it and you say, "geez (insert guy's name), why are you mad at me?"....Again, think about it.
Also, do not be:
1.) a "princess": you're spoiled and he has to buy you his love all the time. Hello, when you're married at some point, you WILL be broke. Deal with it.
2.) a "check-list girl": you have an air tight list of everything that he "must" have. If one is missing, he's "not good enough". Look, sometimes the differences the two of you will have can help the relationship grow more.
3.) a "skraight up snob": If you pain yourself with trying to find the "perfect man" and turn all others away, then there would certainly be no interest in you since you're not perfect yourself. It takes an imperfect two to become a perfect one.
Summary: Be mature and as lovely as you know you can be. You don't have to get married right now. But always be looking and deciding now what you want so when the time comes to find that man, you'll be ready and prepared. Don't get caught up in what's not important, but continue to pray and follow counsel from God and the prophet. (That is for both guys and girls)
For myself, there is no greater feeling that knowing that someone loves you. For me, finding her is going to be one of the best feelings i can imagine....
Well....session's over. Lunch time. Until next time. But before you leave, can i have my check?
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