So sitting here December 31, obviously something is typically written about what to look forward to in the upcoming year and reflections about the past year. Now, im really bad about predicting what comes next or things that could happen, so i'll go the easy route and look back at 2012 and where i've been and came out from. Kinda makes you appreciate the lessons you've learned and how the Lord helped you get through it.
So the year started out good enough, i was dating a nice girl, plus her and i had started talking about our future. I had a couple new roommates that were great, so i was thinking that staying in Rexburg while not in school and just working was going to be pretty awesome. I mean, the weather sucked a bit, but it didn't bother me a whole lot. Things were going great up until about the 20th or something: thats when this girl was having second thoughts about wanting to be with me. I was about as shocked as me finding that Hostess donettes were all gone: completely! The following Sunday she broke up with me. Not the start i wanted at all! 2012 looked like it was going to be pretty looooooong...
Yeah i was a mess for a while. Probably some of my roommates were thinking what the heck they got themselves into by rooming with me. Besides my birthday that month, February sucked a little bit. So did about half of March. But there was one little spark in February, though, that has had a massive influence on my life...
It was on or near Valentine's Day when i decided to send a quick Facebook comment to a girl i barely knew named Natalie Elias. I hadn't really talked to her before, but I asked, "Got any plans for Valentine's Day?". She said no and it led to a little conversation but not much after. Soon afterwards though, we started to talk a little bit more and play Words with Friends. I liked it because it kept my mind off of the break-up and Natalie seemed really nice. I later asked if she was coming back to live at Sunrise Village Apartments again (she was there in the Fall previous, and thats where we had briefly been introduced. That night was also the night i took interest in the girl that ended up breaking up with me). We got off on a nice conversation about Georgia (she's from there, i served a mission there), i later then gave her my number so we could talk more. When it came time for the Spring semester to start, i offered to help her with her luggage to her apartment. She appreciated it and we became fast friends. I thought she was cute, but she wanted to serve a mission, so i backed off a wee bit. So i was just sitting in my apartment on a Sunday evening (April 22) when a couple
of friends from the ward came by and asked if i wanted to go to Stadium
Singing. I said sure and went with them.
Meanwhile, Natalie was at her apartment, not wanting to go. While i was
at Stadium Singing, Natalie's friends saw me and texted Natalie to
come; and she got there fast! I saw her a couple times, but didnt go up
to her after it was done. While home, i texted to her, "Hey! i
was gonna say hi, but you were surrounded by a bunch of guys, haha". She
texted back, "Well then you better make your move ;)" After a confused
look, i texted her to explain herself, which resulted in me going to her
apartment to ask what she meant. After bumbling a little bit (it was
cute) she admitted that she liked me. I was floored!...in a good way! I kinda mumbled out that i had liked her too. It took me a couple of days to suck it up to hold her hand, but i did. She was the first to kiss me, so that was nice! After her and i started dating, however, i wanted to make sure that this was going to be something serious and last. She was torn between dating me and serving a mission, so it was a bit uncertain for a couple of weeks. She got her answer first and it was to stay with me. But i hadn't got mine yet! What the crap! Why?! Ugh...a couple days later, i didn't get this blinding light of "YO PETER, DATE HER! SHE'S GOING TO BE GREAT!", but it was more of a "Hey...it doesn't feel wrong, so go for it!". I did, and havent looked back since. :)
For the rest of Spring semester, thats how it was. She decided to also stay for the 7 week break of summer which helped too! During then, we got to go on a lot of nice walks around Rexburg and talk and be by ourselves. We also brought up that we want to marry each other. SCORE! Fall came and things just got that much better as we solidified our feelings for one another. The sucky part would be that she'll be gone to Georgia for the winter (mid-December to mid-April) but thats ok...im a pretty stubborn guy (this instance its a good thing), which eventually leads me to me sitting right now typing this thing.
As you read this, im sure you noticed that most of it was about Natalie. Well yeah, when you're dating someone for 8 out of the 12 months, it takes a bit of room. Sorry for the bag of popcorn you popped expecting to read something epic. Whoooops...
...............................
So what this year taught me?
...............................
That when there are times that are hard, challenging, and just plain suck; it can be reeeeeeeeally hard to have faith and hope for the future. But sucking it up, sticking to praying when its hard to see the answers come right away, and seeing the eternal perspective of things, then amazing blessings can walk into your life when you least expect it and have a great impact on your life now and in the future. What does 2013 bring? Hopefully a beautiful girl wearing a shiny ring, a long white dress, and a temple :).
Yep, that's us :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Temples!
Just for the heck of it, i wanted to make a list of the temples that i've been to/been inside of so i can see how many i can visit for a portion of my lifetime. It'd be awesome to see how many i can!
-Denver, CO Temple*
-Mt. Timpanogos, UT Temple*
-Provo, UT Temple
-Columbia, SC Temple*
-Boise, ID Temple*
-Salt Lake City, UT Temple
-Rexburg, ID Temple*
-Jordan River, UT Temple*
-Idaho Falls, ID Temple*
-Oquirrh Mountain, UT Temple*
(*denotes i've been inside)
Fairly short list so far, but i have plenty more to be able to see and go inside!
-Denver, CO Temple*
-Mt. Timpanogos, UT Temple*
-Provo, UT Temple
-Columbia, SC Temple*
-Boise, ID Temple*
-Salt Lake City, UT Temple
-Rexburg, ID Temple*
-Jordan River, UT Temple*
-Idaho Falls, ID Temple*
-Oquirrh Mountain, UT Temple*
(*denotes i've been inside)
Fairly short list so far, but i have plenty more to be able to see and go inside!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thoughts
Recently in the news, a few things have stuck out to me where my opinion tends to jump out. In that case, writing them down tends to help a little bit
On Penn State:
-Being a sports person, this headline has been around since late last year. For those of you that don't know, for many years there was coach at Penn State who had been molesting young boys, a lot of on school owned property. The much beloved head coach, Joe Paterno, as well as the governing body of the school had known of such things that were happening, but failed to report any of it until it was too late and the story broke out to the public. Since then, the man guilty of the abuse has been sent to jail, Paterno lost his reputation and died of cancer, and the administrators were fired and the school has been tainted with a bad reputation. Last week, the school received punishments from the NCAA saying that they need to pay $60 million in fines, 20 scholarships lost over the space of a few years, and no postseason play (conference championship or bowl game) for four years. Harsh, but they were needed in this case.
When reading different message boards about it, it's sad to see people already calling Penn State, "Pedo State" and even trashing the players and community, the ones not involved in the problems that went on. For me, obviously i feel for those affected by the abuse and their families, but also i feel for the players that the sanctions punish as well. Penn State had been doing great in the recruiting, but this was going to make it pretty hard. Some de-committed and left, but a good number of current players and prospective players pledged that they are staying, regardless of the penalties. To me, that shows that they are at the school for more than just football and that they have integrity to stick it out. Good for them.
On the Aurora shooting:
-On friday the 20th, i woke up and was thinking how great it was that im done with school for the next month and a half. Imagine my shock when the first thing i see when i get online is that a shooting occurred at a theater i had been to many times in my hometown 2 miles from my house and that 12 people would end up dead. One of those killed was a girl that i didn't know personally, but knew of and was a friend of many friends of mine i had back in high school. Luckily, none of my brothers went to the theater and were safe. After tragedies like this, communities become closer and tight knit. Some, however, immediately want to politicize the event and point the finger not just at the psycho who did, but others that may have facilitated it. With the shootings at Columbine, they blamed video games, but no strong correlation was found. With this shooting in Aurora, many are saying that it was the lack of concealed weapons permits the patrons didn't have.....SERIOUSLY?!?!?! 12 die and almost 60 are injured, and you're telling me that if people in the theater had concealed weapons permits, it would've have been prevented? Wow...the guy who did it had tactical body armor on from head to toe and multiple guns on him plus he threw tear gas grenades up to make visibility hard for everyone else. If people would fire back at him in a moment of chaos like that, more people could've been hurt/killed. Maybe if the guy wasn't crazy, that could've prevented it. Acts like this are so random and confusing, you can't just immediately point the finger at this or that which "could" be the reason for it. Tragedies happen, ok? It stinks, but it shows that life is fragile and the need to cherish it that much more apparent. I trust God enough to know that those that were killed are in a much more peaceful place and are "are taken home to that God who gave them life" (Alma 40:11)
On Chick-Fil-A:
-Oh boy, has this been a stupid one. So we are pretty familiar that Chick-Fil-A is a very conservatively-owned restaurant owned by Southern Baptist people. I for one applaud that they are closed on Sundays to observe the Sabbath day. But the CEO of Chick-Fil-A spoke recently that they are "guilty as charged" when it comes to being against gay marriage and supporting traditional and the Biblical definition of marriage being between a man and a woman. This i also support and agree with. So imagine the outcry they took when pro-gay supporters are now calling for boycotts against Chick-Fil-A and calling them "bigots", "intolerant", and "discriminatory". The Mayor of Boston said that Chick-Fil-A is not welcome there and that the Chicago Alderman said that they are not welcome in his ward of Chicago.
For me, this is getting ridiculous. When one looks up the definition of a "bigot", it says that it is someone who is "utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion". Chick-Fil-A in this instance is simply stating its opinion. It is not going to go to each of its customers, ask if they are gay, and then kick them out if they are. THAT would be bad and show that they are "utterly intolerant". They are simply exercising their right to free speech in the Constitution. Those rights we have are lost only if they infringe on the rights of others and become hostile. One opinion by one man does not make him a bigot any more than those who then lash out at the CEO and even to the point of bringing his faith into it make them bigots. Chick-Fil-A took a stand, and i agree with them personally. Not enough people take firm stands today about what they believe.
ok, im done. it's dang hot my apartment and typing is getting more and more hard for now
On Penn State:
-Being a sports person, this headline has been around since late last year. For those of you that don't know, for many years there was coach at Penn State who had been molesting young boys, a lot of on school owned property. The much beloved head coach, Joe Paterno, as well as the governing body of the school had known of such things that were happening, but failed to report any of it until it was too late and the story broke out to the public. Since then, the man guilty of the abuse has been sent to jail, Paterno lost his reputation and died of cancer, and the administrators were fired and the school has been tainted with a bad reputation. Last week, the school received punishments from the NCAA saying that they need to pay $60 million in fines, 20 scholarships lost over the space of a few years, and no postseason play (conference championship or bowl game) for four years. Harsh, but they were needed in this case.
When reading different message boards about it, it's sad to see people already calling Penn State, "Pedo State" and even trashing the players and community, the ones not involved in the problems that went on. For me, obviously i feel for those affected by the abuse and their families, but also i feel for the players that the sanctions punish as well. Penn State had been doing great in the recruiting, but this was going to make it pretty hard. Some de-committed and left, but a good number of current players and prospective players pledged that they are staying, regardless of the penalties. To me, that shows that they are at the school for more than just football and that they have integrity to stick it out. Good for them.
On the Aurora shooting:
-On friday the 20th, i woke up and was thinking how great it was that im done with school for the next month and a half. Imagine my shock when the first thing i see when i get online is that a shooting occurred at a theater i had been to many times in my hometown 2 miles from my house and that 12 people would end up dead. One of those killed was a girl that i didn't know personally, but knew of and was a friend of many friends of mine i had back in high school. Luckily, none of my brothers went to the theater and were safe. After tragedies like this, communities become closer and tight knit. Some, however, immediately want to politicize the event and point the finger not just at the psycho who did, but others that may have facilitated it. With the shootings at Columbine, they blamed video games, but no strong correlation was found. With this shooting in Aurora, many are saying that it was the lack of concealed weapons permits the patrons didn't have.....SERIOUSLY?!?!?! 12 die and almost 60 are injured, and you're telling me that if people in the theater had concealed weapons permits, it would've have been prevented? Wow...the guy who did it had tactical body armor on from head to toe and multiple guns on him plus he threw tear gas grenades up to make visibility hard for everyone else. If people would fire back at him in a moment of chaos like that, more people could've been hurt/killed. Maybe if the guy wasn't crazy, that could've prevented it. Acts like this are so random and confusing, you can't just immediately point the finger at this or that which "could" be the reason for it. Tragedies happen, ok? It stinks, but it shows that life is fragile and the need to cherish it that much more apparent. I trust God enough to know that those that were killed are in a much more peaceful place and are "are taken home to that God who gave them life" (Alma 40:11)
On Chick-Fil-A:
-Oh boy, has this been a stupid one. So we are pretty familiar that Chick-Fil-A is a very conservatively-owned restaurant owned by Southern Baptist people. I for one applaud that they are closed on Sundays to observe the Sabbath day. But the CEO of Chick-Fil-A spoke recently that they are "guilty as charged" when it comes to being against gay marriage and supporting traditional and the Biblical definition of marriage being between a man and a woman. This i also support and agree with. So imagine the outcry they took when pro-gay supporters are now calling for boycotts against Chick-Fil-A and calling them "bigots", "intolerant", and "discriminatory". The Mayor of Boston said that Chick-Fil-A is not welcome there and that the Chicago Alderman said that they are not welcome in his ward of Chicago.
For me, this is getting ridiculous. When one looks up the definition of a "bigot", it says that it is someone who is "utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion". Chick-Fil-A in this instance is simply stating its opinion. It is not going to go to each of its customers, ask if they are gay, and then kick them out if they are. THAT would be bad and show that they are "utterly intolerant". They are simply exercising their right to free speech in the Constitution. Those rights we have are lost only if they infringe on the rights of others and become hostile. One opinion by one man does not make him a bigot any more than those who then lash out at the CEO and even to the point of bringing his faith into it make them bigots. Chick-Fil-A took a stand, and i agree with them personally. Not enough people take firm stands today about what they believe.
ok, im done. it's dang hot my apartment and typing is getting more and more hard for now
Monday, July 9, 2012
The Mustache Theory
So i have this theory for this upcoming winter semester that i think could work. Here's the backdrop:
Mi novia (Natalie) will be heading home for the winter semester since that is her off-track. It's mine as well, but i'll be staying here because of my job (for some reason, i really like earning money). She raised a concern that hopefully i wouldn't fall in love with somebody else while she is away. I quickly assured her that wouldn't happen for a number of reasons. While thinking of something to calm her fears, i thought of a brilliant idea....grow a mustache!
Yes, yes...i know how wrong that sounds. I, for one, promised myself that if i ever did grow a mustache, that i would punch myself in the face. Well...it's tempting, but we'll see. But still...i think it'll work great! Not only will my own fortitude keep other ladies away, but with that lip sweater sitting nicely above my upper lip, it'll drive the rest away! It's perfect! I hate mustaches, you gotta do what you gotta do.
It sure as heck won't look like this:
But close enough. I'm stubborn enough that this will work! It'll be worth it
Mi novia (Natalie) will be heading home for the winter semester since that is her off-track. It's mine as well, but i'll be staying here because of my job (for some reason, i really like earning money). She raised a concern that hopefully i wouldn't fall in love with somebody else while she is away. I quickly assured her that wouldn't happen for a number of reasons. While thinking of something to calm her fears, i thought of a brilliant idea....grow a mustache!
Yes, yes...i know how wrong that sounds. I, for one, promised myself that if i ever did grow a mustache, that i would punch myself in the face. Well...it's tempting, but we'll see. But still...i think it'll work great! Not only will my own fortitude keep other ladies away, but with that lip sweater sitting nicely above my upper lip, it'll drive the rest away! It's perfect! I hate mustaches, you gotta do what you gotta do.
It sure as heck won't look like this:
But close enough. I'm stubborn enough that this will work! It'll be worth it
Friday, June 22, 2012
Petey-Pie on: Communication
(DISCLAIMER: this are just my personal opinions, so you can add to them or discuss if you wish)
I figure that since i want to be someday a marriage & family therapist, so giving advice/council is what i'll be doing. So why not practice now? So this will be the start of a little series on things about relationships and such. A lot of it has come from or influenced by my marriage prep class, which has quickly become my favorite class full of useful info. So...
COMMUNICATION
For an analogy to help with this, i'll chose what i call the "relationship house":
The foundation is built on trust---without it, the whole thing falls apart. Trust is everything.
the walls with friendship---the basics to which you can build on and add to.
the windows of honesty---you want nothing to hide
the roof that caps it all off is love---seals everything in the house and protects from outside influence.
and I believe that communication is the mortar that keeps it all together---fills in all the tiny cracks to keep the walls and roof up.
(You can tell if one of these is weak and needs repair. If not, then the whole thing could crumble bit by bit until it's destroyed.)
To start off, in a relationship the communication is small. When a couple first meet and go on dates, things are at the simple stage of just asking questions getting to know the other person. Pretty innocent, right? But as the courtship/relationship increases, then there should be a positive correlation in the communication increasing. By the time the couple is serious and on to marriage, then the communication should be open and free with the other person, since you are supposed to be sharing many things as a married couple.
A quick tip:
-if you have something to tell someone, SAY IT! Don't coward away at the last minute or make it seem like a riddle that has to be solved. We're all adults here (hopefully). For instance, i greatly appreciate when im told something up front and honestly, even if the news i hear sucks. But at least i was told, right?I guess im one of those bold types that would rather hear that.
I firmly believe that so many arguments and fights could be avoided if people just communicated. Money problems, something maybe someone took offense at, assumptions, etc. could be taken care of if people said what they meant. Give it a try...
I figure that since i want to be someday a marriage & family therapist, so giving advice/council is what i'll be doing. So why not practice now? So this will be the start of a little series on things about relationships and such. A lot of it has come from or influenced by my marriage prep class, which has quickly become my favorite class full of useful info. So...
COMMUNICATION
For an analogy to help with this, i'll chose what i call the "relationship house":
The foundation is built on trust---without it, the whole thing falls apart. Trust is everything.
the walls with friendship---the basics to which you can build on and add to.
the windows of honesty---you want nothing to hide
the roof that caps it all off is love---seals everything in the house and protects from outside influence.
and I believe that communication is the mortar that keeps it all together---fills in all the tiny cracks to keep the walls and roof up.
(You can tell if one of these is weak and needs repair. If not, then the whole thing could crumble bit by bit until it's destroyed.)
To start off, in a relationship the communication is small. When a couple first meet and go on dates, things are at the simple stage of just asking questions getting to know the other person. Pretty innocent, right? But as the courtship/relationship increases, then there should be a positive correlation in the communication increasing. By the time the couple is serious and on to marriage, then the communication should be open and free with the other person, since you are supposed to be sharing many things as a married couple.
A quick tip:
-if you have something to tell someone, SAY IT! Don't coward away at the last minute or make it seem like a riddle that has to be solved. We're all adults here (hopefully). For instance, i greatly appreciate when im told something up front and honestly, even if the news i hear sucks. But at least i was told, right?I guess im one of those bold types that would rather hear that.
I firmly believe that so many arguments and fights could be avoided if people just communicated. Money problems, something maybe someone took offense at, assumptions, etc. could be taken care of if people said what they meant. Give it a try...
Saturday, May 12, 2012
"The Station"
Oh dang...it's been exactly a month since i blogged! I must've found something important to do, huh? Since then, i've been immersed with school and homework, started dating a very sweet young woman, and have enjoyed work, albeit with some cut hours since im in school again. (Dang you switching from off-track to on again...)
But anyways, this weekend i needed a nice weekend outside of rexburg and the wedding of a friend down here in Utah was a perfect antidote! So my good friends Jordan and Kristen were nice enough to let me tag along yet again down to Utah to take part in the wedding sealing. Along with that were some perks of eating In-N-Out for lunch today, not having the wind constantly blowing me away, and a lot of other tasty food with friends. Hey, it works. However, it did reaffirm my beliefs that:
1.) Utah drivers are 10x worse than Idaho drivers
2.) i could never really attend BYU as an undergraduate and/or single. The place weirds me out for some reason.
3.) The sun actually can stay out for periods of time with nice weather. I heard this is called "Spring".
My main focus however for this will be my feelings about what i felt today as i attended the sealing of brett and tara przybyla. So yes....this will be about marriage. If you're sick of me talking about already, then you can just stop reading and go with your day. Honestly, im surprised you've stuck with reading this far already. But in any case, i feel it's important....again.
To begin, this is my third wedding sealing i've been to. The first one was of my cousin miranda's wedding back in 2009, the second being jordan and kristen's last january, and then today. I felt a little bit out of place, since i was neither part of any of the families involved (i was purely labeled "guest"), and second i was and obviously still am not married. As the session started and the temple sealer started, it was a massive Holy Ghost juggernaut. Hearing all the promises and eternal implications hit me deep and has so for three times thus far. During it, i will admit that i teared up. One, it being a very powerful experience and secondly, i yearn for that in my life so freaking much. Is this a complaining blog? It's not, no. Just me reinforcing myself and hopefully doing the same for others how important it is.
As the sealing was over and the hugs were being exchanged, the sealer said, "If people only knew how important this is, they would crawl and their hands and knees to the temple to receive it." That's powerful stuff! So when i hear others whine or complain ay school, "Oh no here we go again...another talk/devotional on marriage!" Well....why do you think that is? Why is it harped on so much? Is it because they're bored and have nothing to talk about? Are the administrators just that eager to get everyone married? Go read Doctrine & Covenants 131 and come back to me...Along with that there a myriad of talks about the importance of it. Just go to LDS.org and type in "marriage" and look at the all the talks from PROPHETS and APOSTLES that have repeatedly and consistently given counsel on the matter. They're very inspired men with a great deal of insight from God, so what they say is very important in my book.
This is just me, but what is the fun about being single for a long time? Yeah you get to go out on dates with a variety of people and do things that you personally enjoy and so on. And those are great...up to a certain point. For me, some of it is losing its appeal. There comes a point when we have to face reality and take that leap of faith into something that won't be easy, but sure is heck very worth it.
Life is hard, yes i get that. Why go through it alone? Facing problems in life is best when you have someone to share it with. Someone that is willing to spend time and all eternity with you to start a family and progress towards exaltation sounds like a blast to me. If the Muppets have taught anything lately, it's that "life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along".
Can we fully prepare for it? Not completely, no. We can do some things to prepare, like: living with roommates, cooking for ourselves, budgeting the limited money we already have, and so on. I know my list isn't that deep, but you get the idea. My guess is that marriage is a lot of on the job training, things we get to experience and find out as we're living it. Obviously, you should get to know your future spouse through dating and other activities like that, but trying to figure every single little detail about them is boring, admit it. Getting to know and find out after very careful and prayerful consideration is a useful tactic, i think.
I admit...i really don't know when that time will come. God knows that i long for it; sometimes when it aches because i want to be obedient to that commandment to get married and i want to have that kind of love. I sound probably crazy right now, but this is council i have been given from a Prophet of God, the scriptures, my parents, my ecclesiastical leaders, my former mission president, etc. I'm not crazy or in a big fat rush to do it, i just want that blessing in my life sooner rather than much later when i'm fat and old. I pray every night to be worthy of it, and i'm still waiting and longing for it....
To close this out, i saw a poem today and thought it might could possibly maybe kinda sorta perhaps most likely apply to this whole thing.
"Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village malls.
But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering---waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"When i reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. But, sooner or later we must realize that there is no station, no one place to arrive once and for all. The true joy of life is in the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto. It isn't burdens of today that drive man mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fears of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough."-- "The Station", by Robert J. Hastings
But anyways, this weekend i needed a nice weekend outside of rexburg and the wedding of a friend down here in Utah was a perfect antidote! So my good friends Jordan and Kristen were nice enough to let me tag along yet again down to Utah to take part in the wedding sealing. Along with that were some perks of eating In-N-Out for lunch today, not having the wind constantly blowing me away, and a lot of other tasty food with friends. Hey, it works. However, it did reaffirm my beliefs that:
1.) Utah drivers are 10x worse than Idaho drivers
2.) i could never really attend BYU as an undergraduate and/or single. The place weirds me out for some reason.
3.) The sun actually can stay out for periods of time with nice weather. I heard this is called "Spring".
My main focus however for this will be my feelings about what i felt today as i attended the sealing of brett and tara przybyla. So yes....this will be about marriage. If you're sick of me talking about already, then you can just stop reading and go with your day. Honestly, im surprised you've stuck with reading this far already. But in any case, i feel it's important....again.
To begin, this is my third wedding sealing i've been to. The first one was of my cousin miranda's wedding back in 2009, the second being jordan and kristen's last january, and then today. I felt a little bit out of place, since i was neither part of any of the families involved (i was purely labeled "guest"), and second i was and obviously still am not married. As the session started and the temple sealer started, it was a massive Holy Ghost juggernaut. Hearing all the promises and eternal implications hit me deep and has so for three times thus far. During it, i will admit that i teared up. One, it being a very powerful experience and secondly, i yearn for that in my life so freaking much. Is this a complaining blog? It's not, no. Just me reinforcing myself and hopefully doing the same for others how important it is.
As the sealing was over and the hugs were being exchanged, the sealer said, "If people only knew how important this is, they would crawl and their hands and knees to the temple to receive it." That's powerful stuff! So when i hear others whine or complain ay school, "Oh no here we go again...another talk/devotional on marriage!" Well....why do you think that is? Why is it harped on so much? Is it because they're bored and have nothing to talk about? Are the administrators just that eager to get everyone married? Go read Doctrine & Covenants 131 and come back to me...Along with that there a myriad of talks about the importance of it. Just go to LDS.org and type in "marriage" and look at the all the talks from PROPHETS and APOSTLES that have repeatedly and consistently given counsel on the matter. They're very inspired men with a great deal of insight from God, so what they say is very important in my book.
This is just me, but what is the fun about being single for a long time? Yeah you get to go out on dates with a variety of people and do things that you personally enjoy and so on. And those are great...up to a certain point. For me, some of it is losing its appeal. There comes a point when we have to face reality and take that leap of faith into something that won't be easy, but sure is heck very worth it.
Life is hard, yes i get that. Why go through it alone? Facing problems in life is best when you have someone to share it with. Someone that is willing to spend time and all eternity with you to start a family and progress towards exaltation sounds like a blast to me. If the Muppets have taught anything lately, it's that "life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along".
Can we fully prepare for it? Not completely, no. We can do some things to prepare, like: living with roommates, cooking for ourselves, budgeting the limited money we already have, and so on. I know my list isn't that deep, but you get the idea. My guess is that marriage is a lot of on the job training, things we get to experience and find out as we're living it. Obviously, you should get to know your future spouse through dating and other activities like that, but trying to figure every single little detail about them is boring, admit it. Getting to know and find out after very careful and prayerful consideration is a useful tactic, i think.
I admit...i really don't know when that time will come. God knows that i long for it; sometimes when it aches because i want to be obedient to that commandment to get married and i want to have that kind of love. I sound probably crazy right now, but this is council i have been given from a Prophet of God, the scriptures, my parents, my ecclesiastical leaders, my former mission president, etc. I'm not crazy or in a big fat rush to do it, i just want that blessing in my life sooner rather than much later when i'm fat and old. I pray every night to be worthy of it, and i'm still waiting and longing for it....
To close this out, i saw a poem today and thought it might could possibly maybe kinda sorta perhaps most likely apply to this whole thing.
"Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village malls.
But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering---waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"When i reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. But, sooner or later we must realize that there is no station, no one place to arrive once and for all. The true joy of life is in the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto. It isn't burdens of today that drive man mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fears of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough."-- "The Station", by Robert J. Hastings
Thursday, April 12, 2012
"Just Enjoy the Show"
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land, and air, with all our might and with all our strength that God can give us. . . .That is our policy. You ask, What is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory--victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror; victory, however long and hard the road may be." [Churchill: the Life Triumphant, American Heritage, 1965, p. 90]
Doesn't that get you just pumped up?!?!?!?!
Whatever good thing we face in life, there's always some sort of problem or challenge attached to it. It's guaranteed for the most part. "When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other". Sure...a lot of the time you can endure while kicking and screaming until you're blue in the face and then after a while it subsides. For anyone that has any sort of friends, you all know that that is the waaaaaay hard path to take. It gets you there, but causing grief to you and others. Surprisingly, it is easy to avoid. (For someone like me who has been known as a big worrier, this is definitely something i should take the advice of, huh?) It is in the HOW you face it and deal with it; that is how you grow and succeed.
(To start...i have some self-incriminating. Recognizing my weaknesses right away isn't a sign of putting myself down, it's just making myself aware of something to work on.)
-When it comes to failing a test or an assignment, i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to not landing a job that i want, again...i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to dating and getting turned down......yeeeaaahhhh....not so much that soon after.
While i have my "Captain Obvious" cape on, i'll just say that im a vocal person certain facets. Particularly in competitive circumstances and when i'm being stubborn. When disappointment hits in areas such as dating, my family and friends and many-a-roommate have heard about it...many times, to say the least.
While being back home in Colorado for the week break before the Spring semester starts, i've done a lot of sitting and staring off into space; to contemplate of course...And while looking ahead to the next semester, im working on curbing my attitude when it comes to dating disappointments. Just recently, i learned about another situation where i got my ticket down to the "friend zone", where i have been a frequent visitor in the past. At first, it was a little bit bummed out, but minutes later after processing it, i came to terms with it. Why? Well why not? If that was going to happen, then there's nothing i can do about it. I'm not going to beg or plead for a change of mind. It's a "Dang...but, oh well!" Gotta move on, simple as that.
Some things tend to take awhile for my mind to soak it all in, but when it does it usually stays there.
There's a quote from my oldest brother's high school graduation many years ago with a line at the end that says: "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how i react to it."
To dig into the Book of Mormon, there's the story of Laman and Lemuel. Sure, they made the trip from Jerusalem to the wilderness, back to Jerusalem, back into the wilderness for the next 8 years and then a boat ride to the Promised Land...but we read how whiny and a bunch of murmuring pansies they were. They endured through the challenges, but not well. When Joseph Smith was incarcerated in Liberty Jail through a freezing Missouri winter, the Lord told him "if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes". (Doctrine & Covenants 121:8) Although the conditions sucked, he did endure it well and was taught many revelatory things by the Lord.
So the lesson i want to learn here is...just enjoy the show. Things come and go and happen for a reason. No need to give myself an ulcer constantly showing anger or emotion. Yeah, it'll show at first, but quickly getting over it is the goal. Speaking of "just enjoy the show", i took that from watching Moneyball the other night. To be more scriptural:
"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."
So...Just Enjoy the Show.
We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land, and air, with all our might and with all our strength that God can give us. . . .That is our policy. You ask, What is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory--victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror; victory, however long and hard the road may be." [Churchill: the Life Triumphant, American Heritage, 1965, p. 90]
Doesn't that get you just pumped up?!?!?!?!
Whatever good thing we face in life, there's always some sort of problem or challenge attached to it. It's guaranteed for the most part. "When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other". Sure...a lot of the time you can endure while kicking and screaming until you're blue in the face and then after a while it subsides. For anyone that has any sort of friends, you all know that that is the waaaaaay hard path to take. It gets you there, but causing grief to you and others. Surprisingly, it is easy to avoid. (For someone like me who has been known as a big worrier, this is definitely something i should take the advice of, huh?) It is in the HOW you face it and deal with it; that is how you grow and succeed.
(To start...i have some self-incriminating. Recognizing my weaknesses right away isn't a sign of putting myself down, it's just making myself aware of something to work on.)
-When it comes to failing a test or an assignment, i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to not landing a job that i want, again...i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to dating and getting turned down......yeeeaaahhhh....not so much that soon after.
While i have my "Captain Obvious" cape on, i'll just say that im a vocal person certain facets. Particularly in competitive circumstances and when i'm being stubborn. When disappointment hits in areas such as dating, my family and friends and many-a-roommate have heard about it...many times, to say the least.
While being back home in Colorado for the week break before the Spring semester starts, i've done a lot of sitting and staring off into space; to contemplate of course...And while looking ahead to the next semester, im working on curbing my attitude when it comes to dating disappointments. Just recently, i learned about another situation where i got my ticket down to the "friend zone", where i have been a frequent visitor in the past. At first, it was a little bit bummed out, but minutes later after processing it, i came to terms with it. Why? Well why not? If that was going to happen, then there's nothing i can do about it. I'm not going to beg or plead for a change of mind. It's a "Dang...but, oh well!" Gotta move on, simple as that.
Some things tend to take awhile for my mind to soak it all in, but when it does it usually stays there.
There's a quote from my oldest brother's high school graduation many years ago with a line at the end that says: "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how i react to it."
To dig into the Book of Mormon, there's the story of Laman and Lemuel. Sure, they made the trip from Jerusalem to the wilderness, back to Jerusalem, back into the wilderness for the next 8 years and then a boat ride to the Promised Land...but we read how whiny and a bunch of murmuring pansies they were. They endured through the challenges, but not well. When Joseph Smith was incarcerated in Liberty Jail through a freezing Missouri winter, the Lord told him "if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes". (Doctrine & Covenants 121:8) Although the conditions sucked, he did endure it well and was taught many revelatory things by the Lord.
So the lesson i want to learn here is...just enjoy the show. Things come and go and happen for a reason. No need to give myself an ulcer constantly showing anger or emotion. Yeah, it'll show at first, but quickly getting over it is the goal. Speaking of "just enjoy the show", i took that from watching Moneyball the other night. To be more scriptural:
"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."
So...Just Enjoy the Show.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
What to say?
So i wrote a blog the other day about the end of the semester and what i learned and hope to accomplish this coming semester. Since then, i havent had much really to say or share!!!! WHAT?!?!
Which leaves me with this...what should i share about?
-It could be about my trip back to Colorado for the week. Yesterday was a reeeeeeeeeeeeeally long day. Got up super early to shower and finish up packing. On top of that, i had a bunch of my stuff from under my bed to put on top of my bed so that i wouldnt get in trouble with those sneaky Idaho White Glove people. Adding to that, i woke up and found out it was snowing after having a couple of gorgeous days in Rexburg....dang. I got all ready and headed out. Might i add and repeat once more for those who don't already know, i HATE driving through Wyoming. It's basically Kansas with mountains. Plus, when i stopped to get gas in Kemmerer, WY i got some basic beef jerky (Jack Links, baby) so i could eat on the go. No price tag on it didn't immediately tell me "hey, this is sketchy". When i bought it....$7!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! Paying that price it should've been the best dang jerky ever, and it wasn't!!!! Curse you, Kemmerer. But after 11 long hours i made it home to enjoy some Qdoba and watch the Muppets movie.
OR MAYBE I COULD SHARE...
-Today i reunited my mouth and stomach to the amazing heavenly taste of Blue Bell ice cream. I got my favorite flavor, too: Southern Blackberry Cobbler. AND it was $3 off at King Soopers so it only cost $3.99 for a whole half gallon! YEESSSSS!!!! And i also found out that underneath all that dirt and grime from the drive through the Idaho snow and Wyoming wind, my van is green afterall!
PERHAPS MAYBE THIS...
-I'm in definite "what is gonna happen this semester?" mode. I'll sit and stare out into space and try to think and overthink, but not too much. I know i've said much about that as well as dating, so i will try to not include that one here, haha. Besides i need some of that material once the semester is actually underway!
OR IT JUST MIGHT BE THIS...
-Easter is tomorrow, and we get to commemorate and celebrate the Resurrection of the Savior, Jesus Christ. That event gave me and you and you and you and you and you and everyone the ability to be resurrected after this life. It was the capstone on the Atonement, which is awesome in of itself. Gives you hope that in spite of the fact that life gets really hard and confusing sometimes, it really all works out in the end. Once again, i'll share an Elder Holland quote.
"My testimony to you this morning is that God does live and good does triumph. This is the true and living Church of the true and living Christ. And because of him and the restored gospel and the work of living prophets---there is for each of us individually and for all of us collectively, if we stay fixed and faithful in our purpose, a great final moment somewhere when we will stand with the angels "in the presence of God, on a globe like a sea of glass and fire, where all things for [our] glory are manifest, past, present, and future" (D&C 130:7). That is a triumphant day for which I dearly long, and for which I earnestly pray for all of you. To earn the right to be there may we, as Alma said, "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death" (Mosiah 18:9) (Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Bitter Cup and the Bloody Baptism, Jan. 1987)
So what will i share and talk about?
Nothing, really. I just rambled on and on.
But kudos to you for staying and actually reading it all.
...You're welcome :)
Which leaves me with this...what should i share about?
-It could be about my trip back to Colorado for the week. Yesterday was a reeeeeeeeeeeeeally long day. Got up super early to shower and finish up packing. On top of that, i had a bunch of my stuff from under my bed to put on top of my bed so that i wouldnt get in trouble with those sneaky Idaho White Glove people. Adding to that, i woke up and found out it was snowing after having a couple of gorgeous days in Rexburg....dang. I got all ready and headed out. Might i add and repeat once more for those who don't already know, i HATE driving through Wyoming. It's basically Kansas with mountains. Plus, when i stopped to get gas in Kemmerer, WY i got some basic beef jerky (Jack Links, baby) so i could eat on the go. No price tag on it didn't immediately tell me "hey, this is sketchy". When i bought it....$7!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! Paying that price it should've been the best dang jerky ever, and it wasn't!!!! Curse you, Kemmerer. But after 11 long hours i made it home to enjoy some Qdoba and watch the Muppets movie.
OR MAYBE I COULD SHARE...
-Today i reunited my mouth and stomach to the amazing heavenly taste of Blue Bell ice cream. I got my favorite flavor, too: Southern Blackberry Cobbler. AND it was $3 off at King Soopers so it only cost $3.99 for a whole half gallon! YEESSSSS!!!! And i also found out that underneath all that dirt and grime from the drive through the Idaho snow and Wyoming wind, my van is green afterall!
PERHAPS MAYBE THIS...
-I'm in definite "what is gonna happen this semester?" mode. I'll sit and stare out into space and try to think and overthink, but not too much. I know i've said much about that as well as dating, so i will try to not include that one here, haha. Besides i need some of that material once the semester is actually underway!
OR IT JUST MIGHT BE THIS...
-Easter is tomorrow, and we get to commemorate and celebrate the Resurrection of the Savior, Jesus Christ. That event gave me and you and you and you and you and you and everyone the ability to be resurrected after this life. It was the capstone on the Atonement, which is awesome in of itself. Gives you hope that in spite of the fact that life gets really hard and confusing sometimes, it really all works out in the end. Once again, i'll share an Elder Holland quote.
"My testimony to you this morning is that God does live and good does triumph. This is the true and living Church of the true and living Christ. And because of him and the restored gospel and the work of living prophets---there is for each of us individually and for all of us collectively, if we stay fixed and faithful in our purpose, a great final moment somewhere when we will stand with the angels "in the presence of God, on a globe like a sea of glass and fire, where all things for [our] glory are manifest, past, present, and future" (D&C 130:7). That is a triumphant day for which I dearly long, and for which I earnestly pray for all of you. To earn the right to be there may we, as Alma said, "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death" (Mosiah 18:9) (Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Bitter Cup and the Bloody Baptism, Jan. 1987)
So what will i share and talk about?
Nothing, really. I just rambled on and on.
But kudos to you for staying and actually reading it all.
...You're welcome :)
Thursday, April 5, 2012
"The Semesters: Off-Track"
Sounds like a movie title, doesn't it?
Right now i should be packing and doing my Idaho White Glove cleaning since i head home for a week in the morning, but i need some kind of distraction. So how charming...a blog entry will do. Since the beginning of the my first semester Fall 2010, i end each one with a little summary of things i accomplished and what i want to do for the coming semester. The second one for Spring 2011 was totally BS-ed, so i won't revert to that for this one. But i actually do have a few things, even though i was off-track.
If i had to come up with a choice of words to sum this last few months would be this: "gut check". Both good and bad happened...
-A got a really good job at a developmental disability care center working with some awesome people. It has opened my eyes of understanding to those who have developmental disabilities and how challenging it must be for there care-takers, who spend countless hours with them.
-I was called to be the executive secretary in my ward and got to meet and become familiar with most people in my ward and make a lot of new friends
-This was the best semester i've had so far with having roommates, we all got along great. All but one are returning for Spring (give 'em heaven in France, Blake) We might lose up to three in the Fall because of mission plans and two possible marriages, but we'll see on those last two.
However, the big moment came when i was broken up with back in January. Most of you are familiar with this, so i'll end it right here.
The happened at the beginning of the semester, and it set me back quite a bit. Only lately have i been coming back out of my shell and being my complete self. *Fingers Crossed* that it continues.
So what do i want to do differently for Spring 2012?
-Be more organized and planned out. I'll have work, school, church calling, and a social life....YES IT IS POSSIBLE PEOPLE!!! It just has to be planned out and scheduled. Im not one to hide myself in my room doing nothing but homework. By being balanced out, i get to be greedy and have all four. The trick i want to do is to be "effective" in all the categories, not just skim across them just to say that i did them all. I want to be magnifying my calling, do well on my school work, continue to have my job and operate at a good level, and have meaningful dates.
-Speaking of dating, i want to get back out there and date. Now that im crawling back out of my shell, i need to be a bit proactive. I WILL NOT BE A DATE-MONGER! I do not believe that going on tons of dates with tons of girls just for the heck of it to be affective. I want to date, get to know personally, and then see what goes from there. I'm pretty excited to see what can happen.
-Be a better home-teacher. I barely got to know the guys i home taught, and i visited the girls and made sure i got the "at least 1 visit a month" deal, but i want to be more than that. I want to be a home-teacher that is a friend and can be counted on to help.
Not to be anti-climatic, but thats about the gist of what i want to do. So many other little details will happen, but i can only type and procrastinate cleaning for so long.
Well Mr. Off-track, i wont miss you too terribly. Lets get Spring going good
Right now i should be packing and doing my Idaho White Glove cleaning since i head home for a week in the morning, but i need some kind of distraction. So how charming...a blog entry will do. Since the beginning of the my first semester Fall 2010, i end each one with a little summary of things i accomplished and what i want to do for the coming semester. The second one for Spring 2011 was totally BS-ed, so i won't revert to that for this one. But i actually do have a few things, even though i was off-track.
If i had to come up with a choice of words to sum this last few months would be this: "gut check". Both good and bad happened...
-A got a really good job at a developmental disability care center working with some awesome people. It has opened my eyes of understanding to those who have developmental disabilities and how challenging it must be for there care-takers, who spend countless hours with them.
-I was called to be the executive secretary in my ward and got to meet and become familiar with most people in my ward and make a lot of new friends
-This was the best semester i've had so far with having roommates, we all got along great. All but one are returning for Spring (give 'em heaven in France, Blake) We might lose up to three in the Fall because of mission plans and two possible marriages, but we'll see on those last two.
However, the big moment came when i was broken up with back in January. Most of you are familiar with this, so i'll end it right here.
The happened at the beginning of the semester, and it set me back quite a bit. Only lately have i been coming back out of my shell and being my complete self. *Fingers Crossed* that it continues.
So what do i want to do differently for Spring 2012?
-Be more organized and planned out. I'll have work, school, church calling, and a social life....YES IT IS POSSIBLE PEOPLE!!! It just has to be planned out and scheduled. Im not one to hide myself in my room doing nothing but homework. By being balanced out, i get to be greedy and have all four. The trick i want to do is to be "effective" in all the categories, not just skim across them just to say that i did them all. I want to be magnifying my calling, do well on my school work, continue to have my job and operate at a good level, and have meaningful dates.
-Speaking of dating, i want to get back out there and date. Now that im crawling back out of my shell, i need to be a bit proactive. I WILL NOT BE A DATE-MONGER! I do not believe that going on tons of dates with tons of girls just for the heck of it to be affective. I want to date, get to know personally, and then see what goes from there. I'm pretty excited to see what can happen.
-Be a better home-teacher. I barely got to know the guys i home taught, and i visited the girls and made sure i got the "at least 1 visit a month" deal, but i want to be more than that. I want to be a home-teacher that is a friend and can be counted on to help.
Not to be anti-climatic, but thats about the gist of what i want to do. So many other little details will happen, but i can only type and procrastinate cleaning for so long.
Well Mr. Off-track, i wont miss you too terribly. Lets get Spring going good
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Not a question of "what if"...
I've had this song stuck in my head all day, plus i've sung to tons of people too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5_y0s-COl8
But anyways...the other day when playing some basketball at the apartment again, i was musing with a friend of mine about when i came home from the mission about 2 1/2 years ago and plans i had in mind at that time. I thought back to the time that i had so much that i was "going to" accomplish when i got home. They were:
-Marrying the girl i was writing the whole time and then...
-get a job ASAP so i could...
-Go to BYU-Idaho in Spring 2010
Sounds fine with a young, naive RM back in 2009, right? I sure thought so. How the plans really worked out:
-Got let go by the girl i was writing the very next day being home on Facebook, and then...
-took 9 months to get a job, by then i couldn't...
-Go to BYU-Idaho in Spring 2010, but had to wait til Fall 2010, in total waiting 15 months to come here.
In 2012, i've accepted these changes a looooong time ago, so this is not a blog about how i wish they had worked out. Don't get confused. But this did give me some kind of idea like this: where would have my life been had it gone that way, instead of where it is now?
When i pass away some day and have my lovely wife and children and all my earthly experiences with me as i approach the awaiting glories of eternity, i'll be pretty happy where my life took me to that point. All my experiences would have made me the person that i am with no regrets. I hope to not be like the quote i heard from a mission companion once: "Hell is the person you are meeting the person you could've become."
But when i think about it, what if the other choices has happened instead of the things that are meant to happen? Where would my life be? Where would it have gone differently? Would i have a different career choice? And so on...
If i did get married to her, i might not have come to BYU-I. If i got accepted to school in spring instead of fall, then i wouldnt have been able to have the roommates i had and the friends i made that fall semester. A job really early might have stunted the spiritual growth i needed by attending institute all that time. This whole thing reminds me of a talk looooooonnnnngggg ago by Hugh B. Brown, who was an apostle in the Church many years ago. He gave a talk called, "The Currant Bush" regarding changes...
"You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
...After having an experience where he was turned down for a huge promotion in the military for his religion, he felt that he should have had it; a "how could you do this to me, God?" moment. After coming to his senses, he concludes...
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:
“It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.” (Hugh B. Brown, "The Currant Bush")
Makes sense now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5_y0s-COl8
But anyways...the other day when playing some basketball at the apartment again, i was musing with a friend of mine about when i came home from the mission about 2 1/2 years ago and plans i had in mind at that time. I thought back to the time that i had so much that i was "going to" accomplish when i got home. They were:
-Marrying the girl i was writing the whole time and then...
-get a job ASAP so i could...
-Go to BYU-Idaho in Spring 2010
Sounds fine with a young, naive RM back in 2009, right? I sure thought so. How the plans really worked out:
-Got let go by the girl i was writing the very next day being home on Facebook, and then...
-took 9 months to get a job, by then i couldn't...
-Go to BYU-Idaho in Spring 2010, but had to wait til Fall 2010, in total waiting 15 months to come here.
In 2012, i've accepted these changes a looooong time ago, so this is not a blog about how i wish they had worked out. Don't get confused. But this did give me some kind of idea like this: where would have my life been had it gone that way, instead of where it is now?
When i pass away some day and have my lovely wife and children and all my earthly experiences with me as i approach the awaiting glories of eternity, i'll be pretty happy where my life took me to that point. All my experiences would have made me the person that i am with no regrets. I hope to not be like the quote i heard from a mission companion once: "Hell is the person you are meeting the person you could've become."
But when i think about it, what if the other choices has happened instead of the things that are meant to happen? Where would my life be? Where would it have gone differently? Would i have a different career choice? And so on...
If i did get married to her, i might not have come to BYU-I. If i got accepted to school in spring instead of fall, then i wouldnt have been able to have the roommates i had and the friends i made that fall semester. A job really early might have stunted the spiritual growth i needed by attending institute all that time. This whole thing reminds me of a talk looooooonnnnngggg ago by Hugh B. Brown, who was an apostle in the Church many years ago. He gave a talk called, "The Currant Bush" regarding changes...
"You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
...After having an experience where he was turned down for a huge promotion in the military for his religion, he felt that he should have had it; a "how could you do this to me, God?" moment. After coming to his senses, he concludes...
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:
“It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.” (Hugh B. Brown, "The Currant Bush")
Makes sense now.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Conference Lessons
Conference weekend just concluded, which gave many wonderful quotes and stuff to apply to my life (hence the reason for me typing right now) After Conference concluded, i figured i'd get a nice nap in and get to typing. Instead, after having my 5th ot 6th consecutive failed nap, i figure i better get started before i start to forget things.
For the last few years, i've done much better at watching all the sessions of Conference to get the full experience. It's a great time to do a self-check on myself and my own personal progress. Some of the talks given every session seem to be like personally made for me, like they're looking me straight in the eye through the tv going, "Ok Peter...here's some answers from the Lord that He knew you needed." It gives me a good reminder that the Lord is very aware of my life and where i want to go with it, even though in my weak times i fail to see that.
At first when i thought of making this, i wanted to specifically focus on a couple talks, but after finishing all the talks, there were just too many applicable ones to focus on just a couple. But some did hit close...
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland talked about the parable about the laborers in the vineyard and the lesson to be happy when others are given blessings and how it doesn't reflect on us.This is the one where i turned to my roommates and said, "Yeah...this one is for me". With all the other people i know and see who are having success with dating and/or getting engaged, i sneer and think that i couldn't be happy for them because that is the one thing that i want so badly at this time. Elder Holland helped me realize that i've been showing classic cases of envy for those that are my friends. Suffice to say, i felt super small. It's gonna be a challenge to fix immediately, but i can do it with some work.
-President Uchtdorf talked about how we are able to obtain mercy when we exercise it first on others. The Lord "will forgive whom [He] will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10) I've struggled at times to forgive others for harm or hurt caused to me, but i come to myself and realize how refreshing it is to get that dead weight off myself and forgive. However, sometimes forgiving myself for something dumb can be the hardest. But such a thought is stupid, because the Lord has by then forgiven me for things that i haven't for myself. It's part of what the Atonement is for.
-Elder O. Vincent Haleck of the Seventy talked about the vision of ourselves in the Gospel plan. I get frustrated occasionally because i can't see every little thing in my future that i would like, i.e. my future family, future education, future career, etc. Liked Paul stated, i "...see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Cor. 13:12) Not losing sight of the vision of who i am in the eternal plan and what i need to do, i keep on keepin' on trying to do what's right. "One does what one can", right?
Those are just a few, again, i hope i do not seem to slight any of the other awesome talks. But a lot of the talks pointed out weaknesses that i currently have. Now...that's not all totally bad. I mean, im not watching Conference going, "oh yeah, i suck at that too! go weaknesses!" No...but it's a good self-check. In Ether 12:27, it says:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
That's the point of all of this...i am weak, but that is because the Lord has a great way of humbling me, so that in the future my weaknesses will become strengths that could define me. It's hard. It's a bit of a pain in the butt. But it needs to happen. To close in the words of C.S. Lewis,
"The work of devils and of darkness is never more certain to be defeated than when men and women, not finding it easy or pleasant but still determined to do the Father's will, look out upon their lives from which it may seem every trace of God has vanished, and asking why they have been so forsaken, still bow their heads and obey." (paraphrased from "The Screwtape Letters")
Overall....good weekend packed with spiritual goodness
For the last few years, i've done much better at watching all the sessions of Conference to get the full experience. It's a great time to do a self-check on myself and my own personal progress. Some of the talks given every session seem to be like personally made for me, like they're looking me straight in the eye through the tv going, "Ok Peter...here's some answers from the Lord that He knew you needed." It gives me a good reminder that the Lord is very aware of my life and where i want to go with it, even though in my weak times i fail to see that.
At first when i thought of making this, i wanted to specifically focus on a couple talks, but after finishing all the talks, there were just too many applicable ones to focus on just a couple. But some did hit close...
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland talked about the parable about the laborers in the vineyard and the lesson to be happy when others are given blessings and how it doesn't reflect on us.This is the one where i turned to my roommates and said, "Yeah...this one is for me". With all the other people i know and see who are having success with dating and/or getting engaged, i sneer and think that i couldn't be happy for them because that is the one thing that i want so badly at this time. Elder Holland helped me realize that i've been showing classic cases of envy for those that are my friends. Suffice to say, i felt super small. It's gonna be a challenge to fix immediately, but i can do it with some work.
-President Uchtdorf talked about how we are able to obtain mercy when we exercise it first on others. The Lord "will forgive whom [He] will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10) I've struggled at times to forgive others for harm or hurt caused to me, but i come to myself and realize how refreshing it is to get that dead weight off myself and forgive. However, sometimes forgiving myself for something dumb can be the hardest. But such a thought is stupid, because the Lord has by then forgiven me for things that i haven't for myself. It's part of what the Atonement is for.
-Elder O. Vincent Haleck of the Seventy talked about the vision of ourselves in the Gospel plan. I get frustrated occasionally because i can't see every little thing in my future that i would like, i.e. my future family, future education, future career, etc. Liked Paul stated, i "...see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Cor. 13:12) Not losing sight of the vision of who i am in the eternal plan and what i need to do, i keep on keepin' on trying to do what's right. "One does what one can", right?
Those are just a few, again, i hope i do not seem to slight any of the other awesome talks. But a lot of the talks pointed out weaknesses that i currently have. Now...that's not all totally bad. I mean, im not watching Conference going, "oh yeah, i suck at that too! go weaknesses!" No...but it's a good self-check. In Ether 12:27, it says:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
That's the point of all of this...i am weak, but that is because the Lord has a great way of humbling me, so that in the future my weaknesses will become strengths that could define me. It's hard. It's a bit of a pain in the butt. But it needs to happen. To close in the words of C.S. Lewis,
"The work of devils and of darkness is never more certain to be defeated than when men and women, not finding it easy or pleasant but still determined to do the Father's will, look out upon their lives from which it may seem every trace of God has vanished, and asking why they have been so forsaken, still bow their heads and obey." (paraphrased from "The Screwtape Letters")
Overall....good weekend packed with spiritual goodness
Sunday, March 25, 2012
There seems to be a pattern going on....
(Maybe all this thinking and thoughts on dating is in preparation for my future career in counseling or something, i guess we'll find out)
This thing is to kind of expand on a post i put up a couple of weeks ago which got some pretty dang good feedback.
So one Sunday during Ward Council, my bishop had brought up his concerns about the dating scene in our ward (or lack of a dating scene). Of course, my eyes started to slightly roll as i screamed in my head, "I'M TRYING DANG IT, OK???!!!" After it got started, an actually profound comment was said and i had a whole Gru from Despicable Me moment, "Liiiiiiiightbulb".
One of the Elders Quorum president's related a story about something the wife of his former Mission President said. He started by sharing that he had been engaged about a year ago. Being distraught about how it didn't work out, he called up the wife of his former Mission President for some good ol' council. She said, "Don't lower your standards, just your expectations...disappointment comes from high expectations." He was totally caught off-guard by what she said, but then thought on it and realized where she was going with it.
As i sat there trying not to fall asleep by being in another meeting and thinking on what he shared, i immediately went into "apply this to myself!" mode below...
I think about my standards and the standards i look for in a woman. These are some things that are inspired from advice my dad gave me back in 2007 when i asked what he was looking for when he found my mom. They are:
-good personality that compliments mine. doesn't have to be the exact same or complete opposite, but she completes parts of me as i complete parts of her.
-strong testimony of the Gospel, not a "spiritual flake"
-loves to play or listen to music
-good family relations, not someone that hates their family
-annnnnnnd then, i gotta be spiritually and physically attracted to her.
Sounds simple, right? Also, im not a fan at all of swearing from those i know. People should have a good enough vocabulary to not have to swear all the time or even some of the time. I've done pretty well to not swear. BUT...then again, thats just me. Those are just some of my standards. I don't want to change those. But then comes the expectations....i fear that they may too high sometimes, where it chases some away. I don't mean for it to, but it may accidentally come across that way. So im sorry, i don't mean to. I am human, afterall. But with expectations, they can change. If too high, we don't feel satisfied so we keep looking and keep looking and keep looking until...oh look, we're old and jaded now! yaaaaaay!
...NO!
Just like the blessing of the Atonement offers us, we can change who we are for the better. If somebody has a weakness about them, they can overcome it. We all can change. I can change for the better. We grow and mature and then hopefully finally become the person we all wish to be. Expectations can and should change depending, but standards should remain strong.
Afterwards, i snapped out of my "apply to myself!" stupor, finished the meeting, then went home to have a nice blackberry and peanut butter sandwich.
This thing is to kind of expand on a post i put up a couple of weeks ago which got some pretty dang good feedback.
So one Sunday during Ward Council, my bishop had brought up his concerns about the dating scene in our ward (or lack of a dating scene). Of course, my eyes started to slightly roll as i screamed in my head, "I'M TRYING DANG IT, OK???!!!" After it got started, an actually profound comment was said and i had a whole Gru from Despicable Me moment, "Liiiiiiiightbulb".
One of the Elders Quorum president's related a story about something the wife of his former Mission President said. He started by sharing that he had been engaged about a year ago. Being distraught about how it didn't work out, he called up the wife of his former Mission President for some good ol' council. She said, "Don't lower your standards, just your expectations...disappointment comes from high expectations." He was totally caught off-guard by what she said, but then thought on it and realized where she was going with it.
As i sat there trying not to fall asleep by being in another meeting and thinking on what he shared, i immediately went into "apply this to myself!" mode below...
I think about my standards and the standards i look for in a woman. These are some things that are inspired from advice my dad gave me back in 2007 when i asked what he was looking for when he found my mom. They are:
-good personality that compliments mine. doesn't have to be the exact same or complete opposite, but she completes parts of me as i complete parts of her.
-strong testimony of the Gospel, not a "spiritual flake"
-loves to play or listen to music
-good family relations, not someone that hates their family
-annnnnnnd then, i gotta be spiritually and physically attracted to her.
Sounds simple, right? Also, im not a fan at all of swearing from those i know. People should have a good enough vocabulary to not have to swear all the time or even some of the time. I've done pretty well to not swear. BUT...then again, thats just me. Those are just some of my standards. I don't want to change those. But then comes the expectations....i fear that they may too high sometimes, where it chases some away. I don't mean for it to, but it may accidentally come across that way. So im sorry, i don't mean to. I am human, afterall. But with expectations, they can change. If too high, we don't feel satisfied so we keep looking and keep looking and keep looking until...oh look, we're old and jaded now! yaaaaaay!
...NO!
Just like the blessing of the Atonement offers us, we can change who we are for the better. If somebody has a weakness about them, they can overcome it. We all can change. I can change for the better. We grow and mature and then hopefully finally become the person we all wish to be. Expectations can and should change depending, but standards should remain strong.
Afterwards, i snapped out of my "apply to myself!" stupor, finished the meeting, then went home to have a nice blackberry and peanut butter sandwich.
Friday, March 23, 2012
...is a simple man
I'm not going to off on some Forrest Gump type of "I may not be a smart man..." type of thing, but it is somewhat similar.
The many different times when i self-reflect on my life: what i need/want to improve on and where i want to be to become a good person; part of me looks at who i am and my personality. I'm not too much of a complicated person (hopefully) and im quite simple. I wonder, "does that simplicity turn off some girls?" In a nutshell, when you're around me and know who i am, then thats pretty much it...me is me. (don't mind the grammar)
No gimmicks, no fake show-offy-ness, none of it. Im just honest and to the point. Kind of a "old fashioned common sense approach".
Does it work though?
Am i not hard enough to figure out, so the "game" is no fun?
When it comes to dates (when i can get one); for me sometimes a nice, simple date to get some ice cream or whatever is the way to go. Especially if its a first date. I wonder if a date like that is a turn off, though. No flash...no suspense...no me playing the guitar and singing to them. Nope...simple. I don't want to make it seem like i don't have fun or that i'm "boring", but i do what i can to have fun regardless in my own way.
Who knows...i dont know if it's cost me any kind of interest from girls, i dont know. it was just one of those things i was musing about. I guess it keeps the fake people away, but you gotta wonder...
The many different times when i self-reflect on my life: what i need/want to improve on and where i want to be to become a good person; part of me looks at who i am and my personality. I'm not too much of a complicated person (hopefully) and im quite simple. I wonder, "does that simplicity turn off some girls?" In a nutshell, when you're around me and know who i am, then thats pretty much it...me is me. (don't mind the grammar)
No gimmicks, no fake show-offy-ness, none of it. Im just honest and to the point. Kind of a "old fashioned common sense approach".
Does it work though?
Am i not hard enough to figure out, so the "game" is no fun?
When it comes to dates (when i can get one); for me sometimes a nice, simple date to get some ice cream or whatever is the way to go. Especially if its a first date. I wonder if a date like that is a turn off, though. No flash...no suspense...no me playing the guitar and singing to them. Nope...simple. I don't want to make it seem like i don't have fun or that i'm "boring", but i do what i can to have fun regardless in my own way.
Who knows...i dont know if it's cost me any kind of interest from girls, i dont know. it was just one of those things i was musing about. I guess it keeps the fake people away, but you gotta wonder...
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friend Therapist
Saturday night in Rexburg...not the biggest fan of them, only because i usually have no plans for them (i should fix that, huh?)
Over the years, i have usually been the guy that a number of good friends will go to to vent, to ask advice, be a listening ear/crying shoulder for, and whatever kind of things friends go for. Some may be the kind that don't want to be a vent taker or hear anybody elses drama, but im the kind of breed that doesnt even mind at all. I don't know if that makes me sick to somehow want to hear, but deep down past all my sarcasm and guardedness, is a surprisingly big heart.
I guess part of it deals with my somewhat-not-new-yet-kinda-new plans for my future. At first and for the last few years, i was planning on going into teaching, specifically at the elementary level. Not the most glamorous job in the world, yes im aware of that. But after teaching people in Georgia on the mission for two years, followed by subsequent church callings with teaching, i figured thats what i needed to do! Hooray for teaching! Plus, teaching little kids learn sounds really fulfilling. During this semester, i took a class where i got to help teach little third graders, it was falling into place. But one day, i had a mental crash where i thought, "Whoa...is this what i really want to do???" I somehow incepted that into my brain and it's led me to want to change my major to psychology.
"But Peter, why change to psychology? What's wrong with being a teacher?"
Answer: nothing is wrong with it. But after thinking about it, it came to a few things: all the little details of lesson plans, the stress of dealing with performance-pay scales, and the other bureaucratic bullcrap that teachers have to endure, i had to reconsider. It was never an issue about money for me. But with psychology, i still get to be with people and help council them with problems in a more personal setting.
When i get approached with dating advice, i wonder always what to say because i have had little success in that area. (If you know me or have read my blog, then you know exactly what i mean) Perhaps it's because of my trademark honesty and non-canned answers. A motto of mine i try to use is "one does what one can".
In a way and in my mind, i feel like a friend therapist. A "Superman" of sorts. If someone needs help or advice, i try to fly in and help save the day as best i can. It works sometimes, and then i get the satisfaction of being able to help another person. Thats the kind of guy i am, surprise right? But when "Superman" is in trouble, who helps him?...
So anyways, i'll keep on doing what i do; being there for others. Next patient please...
Over the years, i have usually been the guy that a number of good friends will go to to vent, to ask advice, be a listening ear/crying shoulder for, and whatever kind of things friends go for. Some may be the kind that don't want to be a vent taker or hear anybody elses drama, but im the kind of breed that doesnt even mind at all. I don't know if that makes me sick to somehow want to hear, but deep down past all my sarcasm and guardedness, is a surprisingly big heart.
I guess part of it deals with my somewhat-not-new-yet-kinda-new plans for my future. At first and for the last few years, i was planning on going into teaching, specifically at the elementary level. Not the most glamorous job in the world, yes im aware of that. But after teaching people in Georgia on the mission for two years, followed by subsequent church callings with teaching, i figured thats what i needed to do! Hooray for teaching! Plus, teaching little kids learn sounds really fulfilling. During this semester, i took a class where i got to help teach little third graders, it was falling into place. But one day, i had a mental crash where i thought, "Whoa...is this what i really want to do???" I somehow incepted that into my brain and it's led me to want to change my major to psychology.
"But Peter, why change to psychology? What's wrong with being a teacher?"
Answer: nothing is wrong with it. But after thinking about it, it came to a few things: all the little details of lesson plans, the stress of dealing with performance-pay scales, and the other bureaucratic bullcrap that teachers have to endure, i had to reconsider. It was never an issue about money for me. But with psychology, i still get to be with people and help council them with problems in a more personal setting.
When i get approached with dating advice, i wonder always what to say because i have had little success in that area. (If you know me or have read my blog, then you know exactly what i mean) Perhaps it's because of my trademark honesty and non-canned answers. A motto of mine i try to use is "one does what one can".
In a way and in my mind, i feel like a friend therapist. A "Superman" of sorts. If someone needs help or advice, i try to fly in and help save the day as best i can. It works sometimes, and then i get the satisfaction of being able to help another person. Thats the kind of guy i am, surprise right? But when "Superman" is in trouble, who helps him?...
So anyways, i'll keep on doing what i do; being there for others. Next patient please...
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Yes, yet another one about it
For you that know me, i tend to mention dating/relationships/marriage quite often. It's just one of those you get to hear from me if you're one of my friends, simply because i know it to be of massive importance to me. Even in the Church Handbook it says, "The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other. Men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation." (Handbook 2, 1.3.1) So...it's eternally important, too. So yes, yet another blog about it.
Years ago in a Deseret Book store back in Colorado, there was a picture titled "The Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". I looked at it and read every one of them and imagined having that type of picture in my home when i am myself married. After that, i hadn't seen it since. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when in a Deseret Book here in Rexburg, i saw the same picture. I smiled as i reminisced about the first time i saw it, but did not buy it. Then today, i splurged and bought it. As i showed my roommates, they thought it was pretty cool, but i got laughed at (by somebody that may or may not named Lerin Bell).
Yes. i realize that me, a single 24 year old guy, bought a picture taking about the "Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". It is not a sign of desperation or anything like that, i promise. But here is what those Commandment are, they're pretty good.
1.) Thou shalt always remember that thy marriage is a partnership between thee and thy spouse and the Lord. For in knowing this, Thou wilt have the strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges that may come into thy marriage.
2.) Thou shalt cleave unto thy spouse and not let thine eyes wander, nor do anything like unto it. For it is through fidelity and commitment that thou shalt find confidence and trust.
3.) Thou shalt not be selfish with thy time, nor with thy money, nor with anything else that is thine. For in doing this thou shalt avoid resentment and find harmony.
4.) Thou shalt remember that thy parents are good, but need to Give thee space in thy marriage. For it is through relying upon each other that communication and unity is formed.
5.) Thou shalt always remember to call thy spouse sweetheart, honey, or whatever else that makes them happy and to remember the little things. For it is through little acts of kindness that thou shalt find love and tenderness.
6.) Thou shalt remember to always use kind words and cease to find fault with thy spouse. For in doing this thou shalt find peace.
7.) Thou shalt enjoy each others company and remember to date often. For it is in spending time together that one truly gets to know their spouse and find intimacy.
8.) Thou shalt add thy words "im sorry" to thy vocabulary and use them often. For in doing this thou shalt melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness.
9.) Thou shalt recognize and acknowledge the desires, the efforts and accomplishments of thy spouse. For in this thou shalt find appreciation and gratitude for one another.
10.) Thou shalt live within thy means and learn the difference between wants and needs. For in doing this thou shalt avoid needless stress and find contentment.
Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith, “A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]
Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.
I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.
On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”
In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”
Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”
("Remember Lot's Wife", January 2009)
It does...
Years ago in a Deseret Book store back in Colorado, there was a picture titled "The Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". I looked at it and read every one of them and imagined having that type of picture in my home when i am myself married. After that, i hadn't seen it since. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when in a Deseret Book here in Rexburg, i saw the same picture. I smiled as i reminisced about the first time i saw it, but did not buy it. Then today, i splurged and bought it. As i showed my roommates, they thought it was pretty cool, but i got laughed at (by somebody that may or may not named Lerin Bell).
Yes. i realize that me, a single 24 year old guy, bought a picture taking about the "Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". It is not a sign of desperation or anything like that, i promise. But here is what those Commandment are, they're pretty good.
1.) Thou shalt always remember that thy marriage is a partnership between thee and thy spouse and the Lord. For in knowing this, Thou wilt have the strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges that may come into thy marriage.
2.) Thou shalt cleave unto thy spouse and not let thine eyes wander, nor do anything like unto it. For it is through fidelity and commitment that thou shalt find confidence and trust.
3.) Thou shalt not be selfish with thy time, nor with thy money, nor with anything else that is thine. For in doing this thou shalt avoid resentment and find harmony.
4.) Thou shalt remember that thy parents are good, but need to Give thee space in thy marriage. For it is through relying upon each other that communication and unity is formed.
5.) Thou shalt always remember to call thy spouse sweetheart, honey, or whatever else that makes them happy and to remember the little things. For it is through little acts of kindness that thou shalt find love and tenderness.
6.) Thou shalt remember to always use kind words and cease to find fault with thy spouse. For in doing this thou shalt find peace.
7.) Thou shalt enjoy each others company and remember to date often. For it is in spending time together that one truly gets to know their spouse and find intimacy.
8.) Thou shalt add thy words "im sorry" to thy vocabulary and use them often. For in doing this thou shalt melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness.
9.) Thou shalt recognize and acknowledge the desires, the efforts and accomplishments of thy spouse. For in this thou shalt find appreciation and gratitude for one another.
10.) Thou shalt live within thy means and learn the difference between wants and needs. For in doing this thou shalt avoid needless stress and find contentment.
Awesome, right? Why wouldn't someone be excited about marriage??? Concerns are out there, always. President Monson spoke to the Priesthood at Conference in April 2011. "I
realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that
step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing
financially for a wife and family,
may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp
and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will
grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult
decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I
say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be
compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every
challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be
worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making
your marriage work.
Perhaps
you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant
vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying
the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you
running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t
out with the young ladies.
Brethren,
there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage
and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you
choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage,
there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness." ("Priesthood Power", April 2011)
THAT'S A PROPHETIC PROMISE RIGHT THERE!!!
That is why i desire it so much. I'm not planning on getting married in the next week or month or a couple months. I am, however, going to prepare myself to do the best dang job i can to be ready to be married. Remember, if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
To wrap up this whole thing up, here are some good words from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that is definitely useful to about everybody.
"We started this hour with a little verse remembered from one of my
BYU
English classes. May I move toward a close with a few lines from another
favorite poet whom I probably met in that same class or one similar to
it. For the benefit of all BYU students in the new year of 2009, Robert
Browning wrote:Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith, “A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]
Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.
I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.
On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”
In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”
Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”
("Remember Lot's Wife", January 2009)
It does...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
4 19 23 26 29 30
So the last couple of times i've written something, its been those letters to my future kids and wife. i think i'll switch it up this time and go a bit more spiritual/scriptural with some things on my mind from lessons from Priesthood and just talking with others.
On Sunday, we read in Luke 15: 4-7 about the parable of the lost sheep. It says:
4) What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
"Last Saturday David McNeice, Jr., was buried. He was twenty-two. He had
been married just three weeks. One week ago today he was standing in the
Washington Street Station waiting for a Boston subway train to arrive
when another man, screaming, abusive, and obviously drunk, entered the
station, walked to the edge of the platform, and fell on to the tracks.
Instantly--and I assume instinctively--twenty-two-year-old, newly
married, responsible David McNeice jumped down on the track to help. At
that instant, the train came out of the tunnel. McNeice frantically
waved his arms, and then, as one observer described it to the press, "It
was over so quickly." Not surprisingly, the drunken, abusive, fallen
man survived the experience quite nicely. As they buried David McNeice,
everyone who knew this young couple called it so needlessly, selfishly
senseless.
What does this have to do with the first day of school at BYU [ID]? Well, nothing really--then again maybe everything....
..... In the kind of Christian community we anxiously pursue, we must not even look like what we do not think or believe. And we must never look as if we did not care. That is why we make gentle reminders about dress and grooming. Every year at the start of school I see just a few, a very few, who have "grubby" or immodest clothing or hair that is not trimmed or groomed, and I think, "We have failed to help them understand what we are about at BYU." It is a part, however small, of the mission we have, the witness we bear, the colony we're creating. It is part of governing ourselves once correct principles have been taught and understood. And it is important in far more significant ways than dress and grooming, in far more private arenas of our lives....
....This reminder is, of course, directly applicable to all of us--beginning with the president of the university. If I robbed a bank this afternoon, or, worse yet for you, embezzled the university's operating funds, would I be the only one punished? I might be the only one to get a jail sentence, but you would be the ones punished. You and my wife and my children and my colleagues--all of you would bear part of that shame and burden. BYU and the LDS Church would be severely punished, at least in the public mind, for many years to come. That's unfair, you say, but what is fair about the death of David McNeice, Jr.? You see we are all, in a sense, waiting at the same station together. We each have our own hopes and plans and dreams. But by virtue of our enrolling at BYU we have stated our basic agreement as to which train we will ride and what special rules of conduct we will obey as passengers. Of course, one drunk can stagger into our station and right off the platform, bringing needless, heartrending--and unfair--tragedy to his "friends" (never his "enemies"--his enemies would have left him on the track) almost before the trip has even begun. But the risk David McNeice took is a risk we must run in a Christian community....
I ask you to care for each other the way the David McNeices of the world care. Don't play the part of the drunk. Leave BYU [-ID] months or years from now better than you found it. Study hard. Make every semester count. Like little Annie Greenwood, give the best that lies within you. It is no easy task or convenient colonial duty. It will require much from you, and faithful friends will be a strong defense, I love you and welcome you back to school. "Ye are my friends," Jesus said to his disciples, and with his own life gave them the love than which, he said, there is no greater. "Ye are my friends," he said, "if ye do whatsoever I command you. . . . These things I command you, that ye love one another" (John 15:14, 17).
We're all in this together. If someone is struggling, even with the Honor Code or some sin in their life, please help them out. Don't just let them wander from the fold, drown spiritually, or in the story let them stagger down on the tracks of an approaching train. To get where we want to be, it has to include everybody. By doing so, the joy you'll have of seeing them in heaven with you will be great.
On Sunday, we read in Luke 15: 4-7 about the parable of the lost sheep. It says:
4) What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
6) And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
7) I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
(Here at BYU-Idaho, there are some that looooooveeeee to complain about the Honor Code we have, saying that it forces us to conform or that it limits so much we want to do. If you feel that, read it over and then ponder about how its a daily reminder of the same type of covenants we make when we're baptized, which we should be living everyday anyway...but thats another tangent for another time)
When someone we know is in trouble and struggling with something (i.e. like the Honor Code mentioned above) or with any other type of sin, how eager are we to go and help them out? When the sheep strayed from the flock, im sure it wasn't out of sheer stupidity or willful disobedience to the shepherd, perhaps it's because they saw no danger in going to what they thought was greener pastures. But in any case, because we care for the welfare of that sheep or, in this case a friend, we go out and try to save that person. We leave our comfort zone and go on the rescue, something recently emphasized by the church.
I would hope that no one if they saw somebody drowning would go, "Oh thats too bad, i would help but it's their life. They got into that position themselves, so it's not my job to go in and save them." (If someone did, i'd wholeheartedly smack them in the face) If we're of the responsible type, we'd jump in and try to save them because the physical danger is obvious. But if someone is in spiritual danger, is it evident at all? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Apply the drowning scenario to someone in spiritual trouble and imagine...we're all in this life together, and we should bring each other back with us as well.
Years ago in a BYU devotional, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland talked about "A Faithful Friend is a Strong Defense". Some of the things he said have floored me. I'll sample some of his quotes from it here, then give a good wrapping up on it. It was given back in September 1982, but all of it applies today:
What does this have to do with the first day of school at BYU [ID]? Well, nothing really--then again maybe everything....
..... In the kind of Christian community we anxiously pursue, we must not even look like what we do not think or believe. And we must never look as if we did not care. That is why we make gentle reminders about dress and grooming. Every year at the start of school I see just a few, a very few, who have "grubby" or immodest clothing or hair that is not trimmed or groomed, and I think, "We have failed to help them understand what we are about at BYU." It is a part, however small, of the mission we have, the witness we bear, the colony we're creating. It is part of governing ourselves once correct principles have been taught and understood. And it is important in far more significant ways than dress and grooming, in far more private arenas of our lives....
....This reminder is, of course, directly applicable to all of us--beginning with the president of the university. If I robbed a bank this afternoon, or, worse yet for you, embezzled the university's operating funds, would I be the only one punished? I might be the only one to get a jail sentence, but you would be the ones punished. You and my wife and my children and my colleagues--all of you would bear part of that shame and burden. BYU and the LDS Church would be severely punished, at least in the public mind, for many years to come. That's unfair, you say, but what is fair about the death of David McNeice, Jr.? You see we are all, in a sense, waiting at the same station together. We each have our own hopes and plans and dreams. But by virtue of our enrolling at BYU we have stated our basic agreement as to which train we will ride and what special rules of conduct we will obey as passengers. Of course, one drunk can stagger into our station and right off the platform, bringing needless, heartrending--and unfair--tragedy to his "friends" (never his "enemies"--his enemies would have left him on the track) almost before the trip has even begun. But the risk David McNeice took is a risk we must run in a Christian community....
I ask you to care for each other the way the David McNeices of the world care. Don't play the part of the drunk. Leave BYU [-ID] months or years from now better than you found it. Study hard. Make every semester count. Like little Annie Greenwood, give the best that lies within you. It is no easy task or convenient colonial duty. It will require much from you, and faithful friends will be a strong defense, I love you and welcome you back to school. "Ye are my friends," Jesus said to his disciples, and with his own life gave them the love than which, he said, there is no greater. "Ye are my friends," he said, "if ye do whatsoever I command you. . . . These things I command you, that ye love one another" (John 15:14, 17).
We're all in this together. If someone is struggling, even with the Honor Code or some sin in their life, please help them out. Don't just let them wander from the fold, drown spiritually, or in the story let them stagger down on the tracks of an approaching train. To get where we want to be, it has to include everybody. By doing so, the joy you'll have of seeing them in heaven with you will be great.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Dear Future Wife...
(Seems only fair that since i made a letter to my future unborn children, why not make one to an alive person that i'll eventually marry? Sending an imaginary blog-letter up to heaven is a lot easier than to some woman i may or may not know. Plus the shipping would be a headache, but anyways...)
First off...i would really like to know who and where you are! Searching for has many headaches, not only for me but for others as well.
Please don't be scared off when im being polite or question my motives when i am friendly in a time of need. its just the kind of guy i was raised to be: a guy that is respectful.
Seems like every other guy here is dating or engaged. I'm struggling just to find someone to date regularly to (heaven forbid) become my girlfriend. I wish i knew the answer to that one. Why??? I don't have some factory default do i? Am i too tall? Too goofy? Too nice? Too boring? WHAT?!?!?! (i'm not yelling at you, it's just some venting frustration)
So...you may be asking what qualifications you need? I'm not some conceited prick that has a laundry list of superficial crap. (we all get old and ugly anyway) But anyways, here they are:
Before i finish, i must tell you this...i will love you and cherish you like you won't believe. I don't have a lot, but what i do have i'll give, and make sure that you made the right choice to be married and sealed to me for time and all eternity. Just let me find you...
Love,
Peter
First off...i would really like to know who and where you are! Searching for has many headaches, not only for me but for others as well.
Please don't be scared off when im being polite or question my motives when i am friendly in a time of need. its just the kind of guy i was raised to be: a guy that is respectful.
Seems like every other guy here is dating or engaged. I'm struggling just to find someone to date regularly to (heaven forbid) become my girlfriend. I wish i knew the answer to that one. Why??? I don't have some factory default do i? Am i too tall? Too goofy? Too nice? Too boring? WHAT?!?!?! (i'm not yelling at you, it's just some venting frustration)
So...you may be asking what qualifications you need? I'm not some conceited prick that has a laundry list of superficial crap. (we all get old and ugly anyway) But anyways, here they are:
- between the height of 4'11" and 6'2
- either blonde, brown, black, or red hair
- either brown, hazel, blue, green, etc. color of eyes
- good personality that's compatible with mine. (this is a real kicker. When i say compatible i mean: doesn't guilt me for stupid crap, doesn't judge my motives to be bad or pity driven, doesn't HAVE to like sports; but at least supportive of my like for sports, can jam to my music right alongside with me, can be a dork with me too, etc...)
- i need to be physically, spiritually, and emotionally attracted to...as well as willing to stay in rexburg as i finish my bachelor's degree in 3 or so years.
Before i finish, i must tell you this...i will love you and cherish you like you won't believe. I don't have a lot, but what i do have i'll give, and make sure that you made the right choice to be married and sealed to me for time and all eternity. Just let me find you...
Love,
Peter
Monday, February 20, 2012
Call me crazy or imaginative of a little of both, but...
Sometimes i like to imagine/daydream about my future kids. Not something you usually hear about from some guys, but hey...now you know at least one. I imagine that as they're kicking it up in Heaven waiting to be born, they look down at me from above. Hopefully im doing what i can so that they'd be proud of me, anxious to for me to be their dad. Since i can't talk to them or send a Facebook message, i'll just pretend to send them a letter in blog form. (just use your imagination)
Dear Future Kids,
Oh hey, it's me...your future dad. Can i call you David, Isabella, Shawn, and Chloe? I kind of already have some names in mind for you, so just go with it. Of course, your future mom will have a say in that, so these are just rough draft names for now. So how are you? I already know that answer in a way, since you're in Heaven with our Heavenly Father learning so much about what you're going to be experiencing when you come into this life. You know that it'll have it's ups and downs, but you also know that in the end it'll be all worth it.
I hope when you look down at me from up there, you can have a sense of what kind of guy i am. I'm trying my best down here. A lot of what i do is to be able to be a good father to you and husband to your future mom. Praying, reading scriptures, going to church, going to the temple, being a good all-around person, etc...it's not just for me, it's also for you. Things that my mom and dad have taught me, i try to add upon so that you can be a better person than me.
I wish you could help me with some hints of who your future mom will be. I'm trying to find her, but it's been pretty difficult. Rest assured, whoever the heck she is and if she can handle me as her husband, she'll be a great mom to you. A good way for me to show my love to you guys will be to love your future mom. And i sure as heck will, that's for dang sure.
I'm excited when i get to hold you in my arms as a newborn, getting to give you each a blessing, seeing you laugh and smile and all the other things little kids do as they grow. Hopefully you'll have the blessing of height, perhaps even the "Beckman whirlpool" in your hair. I guess you know how you'll be, but im just having a little fun. I'll love you regardless.
I can't wait to see you in the future.
Sincerely,
Your future dad
Dear Future Kids,
Oh hey, it's me...your future dad. Can i call you David, Isabella, Shawn, and Chloe? I kind of already have some names in mind for you, so just go with it. Of course, your future mom will have a say in that, so these are just rough draft names for now. So how are you? I already know that answer in a way, since you're in Heaven with our Heavenly Father learning so much about what you're going to be experiencing when you come into this life. You know that it'll have it's ups and downs, but you also know that in the end it'll be all worth it.
I hope when you look down at me from up there, you can have a sense of what kind of guy i am. I'm trying my best down here. A lot of what i do is to be able to be a good father to you and husband to your future mom. Praying, reading scriptures, going to church, going to the temple, being a good all-around person, etc...it's not just for me, it's also for you. Things that my mom and dad have taught me, i try to add upon so that you can be a better person than me.
I wish you could help me with some hints of who your future mom will be. I'm trying to find her, but it's been pretty difficult. Rest assured, whoever the heck she is and if she can handle me as her husband, she'll be a great mom to you. A good way for me to show my love to you guys will be to love your future mom. And i sure as heck will, that's for dang sure.
I'm excited when i get to hold you in my arms as a newborn, getting to give you each a blessing, seeing you laugh and smile and all the other things little kids do as they grow. Hopefully you'll have the blessing of height, perhaps even the "Beckman whirlpool" in your hair. I guess you know how you'll be, but im just having a little fun. I'll love you regardless.
I can't wait to see you in the future.
Sincerely,
Your future dad
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I have no idea how to post a thumbnail on the side
So by now, i realize im not the best blogger out there, but i think/attempt to get straight to the point. Other times i try to sound witty or funny, but for now on im going to try to cut all that crap out of it, because having it just plain spoken is more of the real me.
It's been almost 3 weeks since Becky broke up with me. I've been doing better moving past it and trying to parachute back to Earth safely, but it's been rocky still. Typically when you lose someone that you discuss marrying one day and the next you're getting told "i can't be with you...ever", it doesn't just get dropped right away. Getting shot point blank in the chest with the ultimate "no" takes a while to heal, but the good news is that im out of the hospital bed and walking again for my emotional physical therapy. Being off-track hasn't helped that much in getting out and about to meet new people. Do i hate her or spite her for what happened? No way, i couldn't ever do that to her. I'm not gonna lie though, whenever i see her at church or walk by her apartment, i'll occasionally hear the strands of "If You Ever Come Back" from The Script stream on my mental Pandora, perhaps hoping for that chance that most likely won't happen. In that case, i try not to dwell too much on it. I sometimes have to relate the story to that ask, but i try to give a condensed version whenever i can.
With that, i sometimes think, "Man...i did all i could to be the best guy possible, and it still didn't work out...what more can i do for the future?" The answer to that is....well, if i personally had it, i wouldn't be asking. Only God knows. So if my future wife is somehow reading this, all i can say is that im not perfect by any means, but you'll without a doubt know how much you mean to me and have someone loyal and honest (to a fault) as i am right by your side. That's all i'll say about that.
Other than that, work is going good. It can be equal parts fun and crazy, but one thing i've been able to learn is that serving someone else can be rewarding like you can't imagine. Working with those with developmental disabilities tiring, but in the back of mind are the paraphrased words from my boss: "WE help them now, but THEY will be helping us get into Heaven." Think about it
My eyes are getting heavy and i need my weekend sleeping in. (This beats a pen and paper journal any day)
It's been almost 3 weeks since Becky broke up with me. I've been doing better moving past it and trying to parachute back to Earth safely, but it's been rocky still. Typically when you lose someone that you discuss marrying one day and the next you're getting told "i can't be with you...ever", it doesn't just get dropped right away. Getting shot point blank in the chest with the ultimate "no" takes a while to heal, but the good news is that im out of the hospital bed and walking again for my emotional physical therapy. Being off-track hasn't helped that much in getting out and about to meet new people. Do i hate her or spite her for what happened? No way, i couldn't ever do that to her. I'm not gonna lie though, whenever i see her at church or walk by her apartment, i'll occasionally hear the strands of "If You Ever Come Back" from The Script stream on my mental Pandora, perhaps hoping for that chance that most likely won't happen. In that case, i try not to dwell too much on it. I sometimes have to relate the story to that ask, but i try to give a condensed version whenever i can.
With that, i sometimes think, "Man...i did all i could to be the best guy possible, and it still didn't work out...what more can i do for the future?" The answer to that is....well, if i personally had it, i wouldn't be asking. Only God knows. So if my future wife is somehow reading this, all i can say is that im not perfect by any means, but you'll without a doubt know how much you mean to me and have someone loyal and honest (to a fault) as i am right by your side. That's all i'll say about that.
Other than that, work is going good. It can be equal parts fun and crazy, but one thing i've been able to learn is that serving someone else can be rewarding like you can't imagine. Working with those with developmental disabilities tiring, but in the back of mind are the paraphrased words from my boss: "WE help them now, but THEY will be helping us get into Heaven." Think about it
My eyes are getting heavy and i need my weekend sleeping in. (This beats a pen and paper journal any day)
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