Years ago in a Deseret Book store back in Colorado, there was a picture titled "The Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". I looked at it and read every one of them and imagined having that type of picture in my home when i am myself married. After that, i hadn't seen it since. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when in a Deseret Book here in Rexburg, i saw the same picture. I smiled as i reminisced about the first time i saw it, but did not buy it. Then today, i splurged and bought it. As i showed my roommates, they thought it was pretty cool, but i got laughed at (by somebody that may or may not named Lerin Bell).
Yes. i realize that me, a single 24 year old guy, bought a picture taking about the "Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". It is not a sign of desperation or anything like that, i promise. But here is what those Commandment are, they're pretty good.
1.) Thou shalt always remember that thy marriage is a partnership between thee and thy spouse and the Lord. For in knowing this, Thou wilt have the strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges that may come into thy marriage.
2.) Thou shalt cleave unto thy spouse and not let thine eyes wander, nor do anything like unto it. For it is through fidelity and commitment that thou shalt find confidence and trust.
3.) Thou shalt not be selfish with thy time, nor with thy money, nor with anything else that is thine. For in doing this thou shalt avoid resentment and find harmony.
4.) Thou shalt remember that thy parents are good, but need to Give thee space in thy marriage. For it is through relying upon each other that communication and unity is formed.
5.) Thou shalt always remember to call thy spouse sweetheart, honey, or whatever else that makes them happy and to remember the little things. For it is through little acts of kindness that thou shalt find love and tenderness.
6.) Thou shalt remember to always use kind words and cease to find fault with thy spouse. For in doing this thou shalt find peace.
7.) Thou shalt enjoy each others company and remember to date often. For it is in spending time together that one truly gets to know their spouse and find intimacy.
8.) Thou shalt add thy words "im sorry" to thy vocabulary and use them often. For in doing this thou shalt melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness.
9.) Thou shalt recognize and acknowledge the desires, the efforts and accomplishments of thy spouse. For in this thou shalt find appreciation and gratitude for one another.
10.) Thou shalt live within thy means and learn the difference between wants and needs. For in doing this thou shalt avoid needless stress and find contentment.
Awesome, right? Why wouldn't someone be excited about marriage??? Concerns are out there, always. President Monson spoke to the Priesthood at Conference in April 2011. "I
realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that
step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing
financially for a wife and family,
may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp
and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will
grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult
decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I
say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be
compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every
challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be
worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making
your marriage work.
Perhaps
you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant
vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying
the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you
running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t
out with the young ladies.
Brethren,
there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage
and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you
choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage,
there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness." ("Priesthood Power", April 2011)
THAT'S A PROPHETIC PROMISE RIGHT THERE!!!
That is why i desire it so much. I'm not planning on getting married in the next week or month or a couple months. I am, however, going to prepare myself to do the best dang job i can to be ready to be married. Remember, if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
To wrap up this whole thing up, here are some good words from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that is definitely useful to about everybody.
"We started this hour with a little verse remembered from one of my
BYU
English classes. May I move toward a close with a few lines from another
favorite poet whom I probably met in that same class or one similar to
it. For the benefit of all BYU students in the new year of 2009, Robert
Browning wrote:Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith, “A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]
Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.
I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.
On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”
In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”
Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”
("Remember Lot's Wife", January 2009)
It does...
Those "commandments" are good reminders. And yet, reading them, I had the thought "the commandments of men" because, as good as they may be they aren't found in the Bible (or other scripture) yet they are worded to copy the style of what is. :P
ReplyDeletehaha, i dont take or see them as defined commandments, just a little playful deseret book creation that does make really good points
DeleteJust so you know I wasn't trying to accuse them of being wrong. It was funny though. :)
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