Some parting words to singlehood

So now it's down to being single digits for days until i get married...SINGLE DIGITS! All the headaches and annoyances that have been said and posted on Facebook get to now come to fruition and be a reality. All those pointless angry posts can be even more buried away, thank goodness. Now don't take this thing as a "woohoo no more being single! suck it, single friends! Oh man, i better be annoying and rub this in the face of everyone and remind them via Facebook every single day that i'm going to get married and how wonderful it is and blah blah blah" Nope, just 'cause i'm not one to do that. But i do have some parting words about being single taught me. It's dangerous to be all bloggy around 1 AM when i should be going to bed, but i know i'll just forget it all in the morning if i don't, so whatever. Essentially i just want to say this: Dating is as complicated as you make it. That's it

The years leading up to where i am now, i was this when it came to dating:

Yep...got too excited at a dating opportunity and then i got impatient and tried to go to fast. Didn't work. And i just got to use a Tommy Boy clip, so hey it worked.

Over time until i got to about April 2012, i just did what i always did and went about doing nice things and someone appreciated it and ended up loving me for it.

The point is this:

Women: Be honest and tell the truth about how you feel and wait for Lord's timing
Men: Be honest and tell the truth about how you feel and wait for Lord's timing

See what i did there? Yeah...not too complicated. Looking back, it makes much more sense. If both men and women just said straight up the truth and were honest about how they feel, probably less would have such a hard time with dating. If you're doing all you can and still nothing, that's fine; it works out eventually. You think i wanted to be 25 just get married? No, but it worked out and it's the right time. Same applies for all.

Now i better go to bed before i say more that goes unread :P

Week 12: Divorce, step-families, and aging families

Oh man....this is the last blog post! Mostly excited about it, so hopefully i can make it through this last blog post without ending it too early. But anyways, the last couple of weeks focused on divorce, step-families, and the aging family where kids have left and it's only empty-nesters. Listening more about divorce is just depressing and i never want to come to a point where a divorce would be brought up. Too many people are affected and hurt by it and it's just bad altogether. Like Elder Oaks said in the Mormon Message we watched, if we are ill or sick we don't just give up and pull the plug...you do everything you can to make it better! Marriage is worth fighting for and is an eternal responsibility. Step-families would be hard too, i haven't had to deal with much of them at all in my family, so my insight on them is very limited. And aging familes, my parents are approaching the time when they are empty-nesters in a few years, so that stage will come with retiring and mission and spoiling grandkids, while also taking on chores and responsibilities by themselves.

Woo! that's it! It's been real and it's been fun, maybe not real fun doing these blogs that no one reads...bu whatever

Week 11: Parenting

So for week 11, we talked about parenting and about differing parenting styles. Besides getting married, my next big goal in life is to become a father. Just imaging holding my little baby in my arms as he/she reaches out to poke my face or is peacefully sleeping gets the warm fuzzies all over inside me. With this, i want to be the best dad i can be before i actually become a parent. What could i do now til then? By wanting to make sure the Gospel is taught in my home, by keeping media that i watch and listen to clean and not something i pollute my mind with, and by working hard in schooling and my employment so i can be a great provider.

Also, we talked about the different parenting styles out there: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Authoritarian is when the parent is in charge and the kids have no say in the matter, the "boss has spoken" type of thing. Permissive parents let their children do what they want and want to be "friends" with their children. Authoritative parents are in charge, but they also allow their children to have say in matters, so there is some compromise and negotiation. For me, i want to be that type of parent!

I hope to be a good parent when that time comes...i guess we'll see

Week Ten: Fathers & Finances

Man, i cannot wait til i become a father. Being able to hold my little baby in my arms and seeing life in a very real and whole new sense will be amazing. At the same time, i know thoughts will fill my mind like, "How am i going to fully provide for this child? Am i going to raise him/her to be the best they can be in the Gospel?" It's a lot of hard work, but it'll be so worth it. I see how the media portrays fathers as goofs or someone that's optional and it kind of angers me. With all the studies out there to show the big impact of fathers, i feel fatherhood is just as important as motherhood because both of them need to be present to fully prepare and raise a child. With the Proclamation to the World there, it is pretty dang clear the need for fathers and the role they play in a family. For one, i feel that i'll be up to the challenge and strive to be a good father. I'll use some of the things my own father used to raise me and my brothers and implement them with my own style to hopefully parent the way God wants me to. Let's hope so :)

Week Nine: Communication

Making up for lost blog time actually isn't as hard or laborious as i thought...hmmm...anyway, week nine was about communication within the family. I see communication as HUGELY IMPORTANT in a family; it holds them together when mixed together with love at 350 degrees for eternity minutes (it was a cooking joke...ha....ha....ha) But when we had this lesson, i felt the bright light being shone right at my face. For me, in my mind i thought i was a good listener and communicator. I mean, i want to go into marriage & family therapy, so sure i must be good, right?....WRONG. I had a crash course in how good i'm not around this time when my fiancee was dealing with stress with her homework and reminded me about how she needs to vent sometimes and not have me prescribe solutions for it. With how i felt i listened, i would say things like: "oh don't worry about it", "it's not that big of a deal", and "that's easy, you'll be fine"...not the best when looking back on it. It hit me deep when she said i need to listen better and communicate in a way thats less "i need to fix it now" and more "i'm going to help you through it". Since then, i've gotten slightly better at shutting up and listening and better communicating my thoughts and words and actions more constructively.

Week Eight: Stress

My blog blitz rolls on! For week eight in Family Relations, we learned about stress on the individual and the family and the benefits that can come from it. Wait....there's benefits to stress???? Hold on, there must be a mistake somewhere....nope, it's true. In class, there was an example given about astronauts and the effect of weightlessness on their bodies when they are in space. Sure it sounds like fun to float around and not have any pressure on the body, but there are residual effects on them when they return to Earth. With no stress on the body, their bone structure grows weaker because no stress has been applied to the skeletal structure. Their backs get compacted, their muscles atrophy, and so on. The same is with our lives. Without stress, then our lives would be carefree and easy and we wouldn't grow at all. Joseph Smith needed Liberty Jail to teach him some very important eternal doctrines, Nephi needed to cut off someone's head in order to preserve his family lineage and records, and so on. We don't need to experience those types of things, but our own trials and stress shape us to be more in the image of Christ. We need stress....managing it in a useful way is the best way to handle stress.

Week Seven: The "S" word

Holy schmo....i havent made any kind of entry in almost two months. Yikes....well, here is me making up for some lost time. (hooray for class repentance, right?)

Well from this lesson back in week 7, we talked about sexual intimacy between a husband and wife and the sacred powers that are contained in them. For me, i feel that the topic gets a "too taboo" label on it by a lot of LDS members, so they avoid the issue and never discuss it in a mature, sacred manner. With that, people then get the shock of a lifetime when it's the wedding night and they have no idea what to do or how to be delicate to their spouse. I feel that proper discussion on sexual intimacy should be taught more frequent than it is to young LDS adults. With that, they have a better understanding of what to expect and the physiology that goes on. Being in Family Relations and Marriage Prep from last spring has given me a ton of useful information and understanding so when i am married, i know of how God-like these feelings are; and they should be treated and talked about as such.

Family Relations: Week Tres!

Ok so i totally forgot about posting something last week, sooooo....(not that anyone would've read it if i did...) But from this week i got:

I took away different things about social class and the kind of demographic things that separate us in the United States. From those videos we watched on Monday, it was interesting that there are such divides among those that are labeled as "Haves" and "Have Nots". And then with Friday and me playing the Mexican dad who leaves his family to go to the United States to find work and opportunity, but instead finds more problems than before....yikes, im not sure i could do that to my family, but some people do do that and i can't imagine what it's like for them. Just role playing was hard enough!

So this is how it feels

Alright, a post that isn't for my FAM 160 class! I pretty much just thought about it as i was getting ready for bed, 'cause i wouldn't be able to fall asleep until i typed this up, so here i am barely awake and making a new blog entry! That usually goes well...

So for those who didn't know already (which is very few i imagine), but i got engaged just a week and a half ago! woohoo!!!! It was certainly a very good day indeed and can't wait to see what unfolds in the future for me and my soon-to-be wife, Natalie. So as i was brushing my teeth, i was thinking about it and the "so this is what it feels like" feeling hit me. You know, the feeling you get when something good seems to FINALLY happen to you and then you get to see why everyone really enjoys it. I remember feeling it when i graduated high school 7 years ago (yikes!). I'd see the seniors and all the cool stuff they get to experience and i was like, "man that'll be awesome when i get to be a senior and walk across the stage to get my diploma". And then it happened and it was great. Then when it was leaving to serve a mission. After three weeks that felt more like three years were over, i finally got to go into the field and experience first hand all that the mission offers and then again when i came home after the two years. Sad to say, i felt that "so this is what it feels like" when i got my first girlfriend ever after almost a year from coming home. Those who know me (or have at least read my blogs) know that marriage has been one of the biggest things i have prayed for and longed for a while, but had to go through A LOT of heartache and headaches to get to this point. One time i got super close to just being engaged last year but then it fell apart and was one of the worst few months i can remember. Now that i've reached this point, i look back and see where i've been and where it has taken me to get to this point right now. The road to get here being engaged sucked, but i love it now knowing that the Lord prepared me for it and to be with someone that is truly wonderful. This "so this is what it feels like" will only continue throughout life, with the next big one coming in August when it all becomes official, followed by children in the future and graduating from college and so on.

So this is what it feels like....i like it

Family Relations 160: Week Uno!

Hmmm...i go back and forth as far as writing in my blog goes, but since i need to write stuff every week for class...here i am!

So this week, i learned more about the social trends that are going in the world today. Marriage ages are raising, less children are being born, more are entering into cohabitation, and the big one of same-sex marriage. Holy crap, that's scary! Values and the structure of the family are going further down and it's up to us to stick our beliefs and stand up for what is right. For me, i can't wait to have my own family and be able to have the Gospel prevalent in my home. When people come into my home, i want them to leave with the impression of, "Oh man they are striving to do what's right there!" And it all starts now way before that time; not when i have to at that moment. By preparing now to stand up for strong families, then that attitude will become a behavior that we can teach to others and develop in the home.

So...not too bad as a first post, eh?

Crazy how things change

So apparently i caused a mini stir the other day on Facebook. I posted a status about my excitement to get married and how awesome it will be, and a ton of people confused it to be a engagement announcement. First off, IM NOT ENGAGED....as of now. I gotta wait a little bit (as in, she has to be back in Rexburg first, and that ain't happening until April) and secondly, if i was engaged, then EVERYBODY would know very matter-of-factly. Just as a little heads up for everyone :).

In any case, as i was thinking of posting this, it occurred to me just how crazy things change from a year ago until now. Last year, i was a week or so away from getting dumped by my then girlfriend after dating for about a couple months. I had wanted to marry her, but obviously that wasnt going to happen. Today, im dating Ms. Natalie Elias and going on 8 1/2 months strong (despite the cross-country distance at the moment) Of course her and i have talked marriage many times. I guess thats the reason for this little thing here.

Most people who have known me are aware that i talk about marriage in general A LOT. Part of it is because i want to go into possible marriage counseling, the other part is that i've always thought and been taught that it's a pretty awesome thing. It may annoy some, but im pretty unapologetic when it comes to this topic.

It's taken a good while, but i feel that i have been molded in a way that helps me ready for marriage. Some friends i have talked to have mentioned their hesitancy with wanting to get married. I'm curious and ask "why?" The general theme is a sort of unsure feeling about themselves (insecurities), or worried about finding the right one, or even thinking that single life is more fun. Whatever the reason is, those friends i know are not as enthused about it as i am. I can understand why they may think that. But for me, all i know is that the biggest and best goal a person can make is getting married and sealed to a spouse for time and all eternity in the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage (which is the highest covenant you can make in life, which sounds pretty awesome to me)


For me, i am WAY excited to get married. Besides the big obvious thing you get to do when you're married, i know of a few more, deeper things im excited for when im married. (specifically to Natalie)

-First off, i cant wait to wake up that first morning and the first thing i see is my brand new wife. No make up, hair not done, in pajamas, and just as beautiful as anything. We get to wake up and make breakfast for each other and just chillax the day together. To me, i feel that when you get married, its like you start a new life. For how many years, you grow and mature and do things to prepare you for this moment. When you get there, some things you get rid of and assume this new role as a spouse. You get to cook together, budget together, serve together, laugh together, cry together, and so on. Your total independence is altered in a way where "I" becomes "WE".

-Another one is that you get to have your own little family together; the way you feel is best for everyone. Some things that i didnt necessarily grow up with much; i'll now get to do it with my own children. You can start new traditions and new ideas to bless your family. I imagine myself quite often playing with my future children: feeding them, walking with them, babble-talking with them and so on. I guess i kinda geek out with that.

-And another example would be is that you have someone to do something with all the time. Whether they're your date or a "partner in crime" sorta speak (legally). Sure i can have fun going out to eat or watching a movie or cooking or what have you. But for me, it's even better when you have "someone by your side to sing along" (got that Muppets reference?) In the future, i'd love to take vacations to places i love already and also places i've never been to; but it would make the trip so much more worthwhile to share that experience right beside my wife. I tend to have more fun alongside someone else.

Being at BYU-I, it's almost a joke that someone is excited to get married and should just settle down and have fun going on a ton of dates and crazy outings. Meh...doesnt thrill me as much and seems like just a big waste of time. I want my new chapter in the "Book of Peter" to begin. It'll be hard, yes. Difficult, i know. Stressful, no doubt. But living that chapter and all the happiness that comes with it far outweighs how hard of a read it'll be.

I seem to be forever the optimist when it comes to wanting to get married? Sure, i may get some grief about it but i dont really give a crap. I know what is important in my life and i want to chase it as much as possible. As Bart Scott once said, i "CANT WAIT!" :)


That chapter is almost ready to get started writing. Where's my pen?