(Maybe all this thinking and thoughts on dating is in preparation for my future career in counseling or something, i guess we'll find out)
This thing is to kind of expand on a post i put up a couple of weeks ago which got some pretty dang good feedback.
So one Sunday during Ward Council, my bishop had brought up his concerns about the dating scene in our ward (or lack of a dating scene). Of course, my eyes started to slightly roll as i screamed in my head, "I'M TRYING DANG IT, OK???!!!" After it got started, an actually profound comment was said and i had a whole Gru from Despicable Me moment, "Liiiiiiiightbulb".
One of the Elders Quorum president's related a story about something the wife of his former Mission President said. He started by sharing that he had been engaged about a year ago. Being distraught about how it didn't work out, he called up the wife of his former Mission President for some good ol' council. She said, "Don't lower your standards, just your expectations...disappointment comes from high expectations." He was totally caught off-guard by what she said, but then thought on it and realized where she was going with it.
As i sat there trying not to fall asleep by being in another meeting and thinking on what he shared, i immediately went into "apply this to myself!" mode below...
I think about my standards and the standards i look for in a woman. These are some things that are inspired from advice my dad gave me back in 2007 when i asked what he was looking for when he found my mom. They are:
-good personality that compliments mine. doesn't have to be the exact same or complete opposite, but she completes parts of me as i complete parts of her.
-strong testimony of the Gospel, not a "spiritual flake"
-loves to play or listen to music
-good family relations, not someone that hates their family
-annnnnnnd then, i gotta be spiritually and physically attracted to her.
Sounds simple, right? Also, im not a fan at all of swearing from those i know. People should have a good enough vocabulary to not have to swear all the time or even some of the time. I've done pretty well to not swear. BUT...then again, thats just me. Those are just some of my standards. I don't want to change those. But then comes the expectations....i fear that they may too high sometimes, where it chases some away. I don't mean for it to, but it may accidentally come across that way. So im sorry, i don't mean to. I am human, afterall. But with expectations, they can change. If too high, we don't feel satisfied so we keep looking and keep looking and keep looking until...oh look, we're old and jaded now! yaaaaaay!
...NO!
Just like the blessing of the Atonement offers us, we can change who we are for the better. If somebody has a weakness about them, they can overcome it. We all can change. I can change for the better. We grow and mature and then hopefully finally become the person we all wish to be. Expectations can and should change depending, but standards should remain strong.
Afterwards, i snapped out of my "apply to myself!" stupor, finished the meeting, then went home to have a nice blackberry and peanut butter sandwich.
Yep, that's us :)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
...is a simple man
I'm not going to off on some Forrest Gump type of "I may not be a smart man..." type of thing, but it is somewhat similar.
The many different times when i self-reflect on my life: what i need/want to improve on and where i want to be to become a good person; part of me looks at who i am and my personality. I'm not too much of a complicated person (hopefully) and im quite simple. I wonder, "does that simplicity turn off some girls?" In a nutshell, when you're around me and know who i am, then thats pretty much it...me is me. (don't mind the grammar)
No gimmicks, no fake show-offy-ness, none of it. Im just honest and to the point. Kind of a "old fashioned common sense approach".
Does it work though?
Am i not hard enough to figure out, so the "game" is no fun?
When it comes to dates (when i can get one); for me sometimes a nice, simple date to get some ice cream or whatever is the way to go. Especially if its a first date. I wonder if a date like that is a turn off, though. No flash...no suspense...no me playing the guitar and singing to them. Nope...simple. I don't want to make it seem like i don't have fun or that i'm "boring", but i do what i can to have fun regardless in my own way.
Who knows...i dont know if it's cost me any kind of interest from girls, i dont know. it was just one of those things i was musing about. I guess it keeps the fake people away, but you gotta wonder...
The many different times when i self-reflect on my life: what i need/want to improve on and where i want to be to become a good person; part of me looks at who i am and my personality. I'm not too much of a complicated person (hopefully) and im quite simple. I wonder, "does that simplicity turn off some girls?" In a nutshell, when you're around me and know who i am, then thats pretty much it...me is me. (don't mind the grammar)
No gimmicks, no fake show-offy-ness, none of it. Im just honest and to the point. Kind of a "old fashioned common sense approach".
Does it work though?
Am i not hard enough to figure out, so the "game" is no fun?
When it comes to dates (when i can get one); for me sometimes a nice, simple date to get some ice cream or whatever is the way to go. Especially if its a first date. I wonder if a date like that is a turn off, though. No flash...no suspense...no me playing the guitar and singing to them. Nope...simple. I don't want to make it seem like i don't have fun or that i'm "boring", but i do what i can to have fun regardless in my own way.
Who knows...i dont know if it's cost me any kind of interest from girls, i dont know. it was just one of those things i was musing about. I guess it keeps the fake people away, but you gotta wonder...
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friend Therapist
Saturday night in Rexburg...not the biggest fan of them, only because i usually have no plans for them (i should fix that, huh?)
Over the years, i have usually been the guy that a number of good friends will go to to vent, to ask advice, be a listening ear/crying shoulder for, and whatever kind of things friends go for. Some may be the kind that don't want to be a vent taker or hear anybody elses drama, but im the kind of breed that doesnt even mind at all. I don't know if that makes me sick to somehow want to hear, but deep down past all my sarcasm and guardedness, is a surprisingly big heart.
I guess part of it deals with my somewhat-not-new-yet-kinda-new plans for my future. At first and for the last few years, i was planning on going into teaching, specifically at the elementary level. Not the most glamorous job in the world, yes im aware of that. But after teaching people in Georgia on the mission for two years, followed by subsequent church callings with teaching, i figured thats what i needed to do! Hooray for teaching! Plus, teaching little kids learn sounds really fulfilling. During this semester, i took a class where i got to help teach little third graders, it was falling into place. But one day, i had a mental crash where i thought, "Whoa...is this what i really want to do???" I somehow incepted that into my brain and it's led me to want to change my major to psychology.
"But Peter, why change to psychology? What's wrong with being a teacher?"
Answer: nothing is wrong with it. But after thinking about it, it came to a few things: all the little details of lesson plans, the stress of dealing with performance-pay scales, and the other bureaucratic bullcrap that teachers have to endure, i had to reconsider. It was never an issue about money for me. But with psychology, i still get to be with people and help council them with problems in a more personal setting.
When i get approached with dating advice, i wonder always what to say because i have had little success in that area. (If you know me or have read my blog, then you know exactly what i mean) Perhaps it's because of my trademark honesty and non-canned answers. A motto of mine i try to use is "one does what one can".
In a way and in my mind, i feel like a friend therapist. A "Superman" of sorts. If someone needs help or advice, i try to fly in and help save the day as best i can. It works sometimes, and then i get the satisfaction of being able to help another person. Thats the kind of guy i am, surprise right? But when "Superman" is in trouble, who helps him?...
So anyways, i'll keep on doing what i do; being there for others. Next patient please...
Over the years, i have usually been the guy that a number of good friends will go to to vent, to ask advice, be a listening ear/crying shoulder for, and whatever kind of things friends go for. Some may be the kind that don't want to be a vent taker or hear anybody elses drama, but im the kind of breed that doesnt even mind at all. I don't know if that makes me sick to somehow want to hear, but deep down past all my sarcasm and guardedness, is a surprisingly big heart.
I guess part of it deals with my somewhat-not-new-yet-kinda-new plans for my future. At first and for the last few years, i was planning on going into teaching, specifically at the elementary level. Not the most glamorous job in the world, yes im aware of that. But after teaching people in Georgia on the mission for two years, followed by subsequent church callings with teaching, i figured thats what i needed to do! Hooray for teaching! Plus, teaching little kids learn sounds really fulfilling. During this semester, i took a class where i got to help teach little third graders, it was falling into place. But one day, i had a mental crash where i thought, "Whoa...is this what i really want to do???" I somehow incepted that into my brain and it's led me to want to change my major to psychology.
"But Peter, why change to psychology? What's wrong with being a teacher?"
Answer: nothing is wrong with it. But after thinking about it, it came to a few things: all the little details of lesson plans, the stress of dealing with performance-pay scales, and the other bureaucratic bullcrap that teachers have to endure, i had to reconsider. It was never an issue about money for me. But with psychology, i still get to be with people and help council them with problems in a more personal setting.
When i get approached with dating advice, i wonder always what to say because i have had little success in that area. (If you know me or have read my blog, then you know exactly what i mean) Perhaps it's because of my trademark honesty and non-canned answers. A motto of mine i try to use is "one does what one can".
In a way and in my mind, i feel like a friend therapist. A "Superman" of sorts. If someone needs help or advice, i try to fly in and help save the day as best i can. It works sometimes, and then i get the satisfaction of being able to help another person. Thats the kind of guy i am, surprise right? But when "Superman" is in trouble, who helps him?...
So anyways, i'll keep on doing what i do; being there for others. Next patient please...
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Yes, yet another one about it
For you that know me, i tend to mention dating/relationships/marriage quite often. It's just one of those you get to hear from me if you're one of my friends, simply because i know it to be of massive importance to me. Even in the Church Handbook it says, "The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other. Men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation." (Handbook 2, 1.3.1) So...it's eternally important, too. So yes, yet another blog about it.
Years ago in a Deseret Book store back in Colorado, there was a picture titled "The Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". I looked at it and read every one of them and imagined having that type of picture in my home when i am myself married. After that, i hadn't seen it since. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when in a Deseret Book here in Rexburg, i saw the same picture. I smiled as i reminisced about the first time i saw it, but did not buy it. Then today, i splurged and bought it. As i showed my roommates, they thought it was pretty cool, but i got laughed at (by somebody that may or may not named Lerin Bell).
Yes. i realize that me, a single 24 year old guy, bought a picture taking about the "Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". It is not a sign of desperation or anything like that, i promise. But here is what those Commandment are, they're pretty good.
1.) Thou shalt always remember that thy marriage is a partnership between thee and thy spouse and the Lord. For in knowing this, Thou wilt have the strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges that may come into thy marriage.
2.) Thou shalt cleave unto thy spouse and not let thine eyes wander, nor do anything like unto it. For it is through fidelity and commitment that thou shalt find confidence and trust.
3.) Thou shalt not be selfish with thy time, nor with thy money, nor with anything else that is thine. For in doing this thou shalt avoid resentment and find harmony.
4.) Thou shalt remember that thy parents are good, but need to Give thee space in thy marriage. For it is through relying upon each other that communication and unity is formed.
5.) Thou shalt always remember to call thy spouse sweetheart, honey, or whatever else that makes them happy and to remember the little things. For it is through little acts of kindness that thou shalt find love and tenderness.
6.) Thou shalt remember to always use kind words and cease to find fault with thy spouse. For in doing this thou shalt find peace.
7.) Thou shalt enjoy each others company and remember to date often. For it is in spending time together that one truly gets to know their spouse and find intimacy.
8.) Thou shalt add thy words "im sorry" to thy vocabulary and use them often. For in doing this thou shalt melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness.
9.) Thou shalt recognize and acknowledge the desires, the efforts and accomplishments of thy spouse. For in this thou shalt find appreciation and gratitude for one another.
10.) Thou shalt live within thy means and learn the difference between wants and needs. For in doing this thou shalt avoid needless stress and find contentment.
Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith, “A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]
Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.
I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.
On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”
In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”
Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”
("Remember Lot's Wife", January 2009)
It does...
Years ago in a Deseret Book store back in Colorado, there was a picture titled "The Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". I looked at it and read every one of them and imagined having that type of picture in my home when i am myself married. After that, i hadn't seen it since. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when in a Deseret Book here in Rexburg, i saw the same picture. I smiled as i reminisced about the first time i saw it, but did not buy it. Then today, i splurged and bought it. As i showed my roommates, they thought it was pretty cool, but i got laughed at (by somebody that may or may not named Lerin Bell).
Yes. i realize that me, a single 24 year old guy, bought a picture taking about the "Ten Commandments of a Happy Marriage". It is not a sign of desperation or anything like that, i promise. But here is what those Commandment are, they're pretty good.
1.) Thou shalt always remember that thy marriage is a partnership between thee and thy spouse and the Lord. For in knowing this, Thou wilt have the strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges that may come into thy marriage.
2.) Thou shalt cleave unto thy spouse and not let thine eyes wander, nor do anything like unto it. For it is through fidelity and commitment that thou shalt find confidence and trust.
3.) Thou shalt not be selfish with thy time, nor with thy money, nor with anything else that is thine. For in doing this thou shalt avoid resentment and find harmony.
4.) Thou shalt remember that thy parents are good, but need to Give thee space in thy marriage. For it is through relying upon each other that communication and unity is formed.
5.) Thou shalt always remember to call thy spouse sweetheart, honey, or whatever else that makes them happy and to remember the little things. For it is through little acts of kindness that thou shalt find love and tenderness.
6.) Thou shalt remember to always use kind words and cease to find fault with thy spouse. For in doing this thou shalt find peace.
7.) Thou shalt enjoy each others company and remember to date often. For it is in spending time together that one truly gets to know their spouse and find intimacy.
8.) Thou shalt add thy words "im sorry" to thy vocabulary and use them often. For in doing this thou shalt melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness.
9.) Thou shalt recognize and acknowledge the desires, the efforts and accomplishments of thy spouse. For in this thou shalt find appreciation and gratitude for one another.
10.) Thou shalt live within thy means and learn the difference between wants and needs. For in doing this thou shalt avoid needless stress and find contentment.
Awesome, right? Why wouldn't someone be excited about marriage??? Concerns are out there, always. President Monson spoke to the Priesthood at Conference in April 2011. "I
realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that
step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing
financially for a wife and family,
may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp
and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will
grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult
decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I
say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be
compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every
challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be
worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making
your marriage work.
Perhaps
you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant
vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying
the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you
running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t
out with the young ladies.
Brethren,
there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage
and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you
choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage,
there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness." ("Priesthood Power", April 2011)
THAT'S A PROPHETIC PROMISE RIGHT THERE!!!
That is why i desire it so much. I'm not planning on getting married in the next week or month or a couple months. I am, however, going to prepare myself to do the best dang job i can to be ready to be married. Remember, if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
To wrap up this whole thing up, here are some good words from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that is definitely useful to about everybody.
"We started this hour with a little verse remembered from one of my
BYU
English classes. May I move toward a close with a few lines from another
favorite poet whom I probably met in that same class or one similar to
it. For the benefit of all BYU students in the new year of 2009, Robert
Browning wrote:Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith, “A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]
Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.
I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.
On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”
In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”
Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”
("Remember Lot's Wife", January 2009)
It does...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
4 19 23 26 29 30
So the last couple of times i've written something, its been those letters to my future kids and wife. i think i'll switch it up this time and go a bit more spiritual/scriptural with some things on my mind from lessons from Priesthood and just talking with others.
On Sunday, we read in Luke 15: 4-7 about the parable of the lost sheep. It says:
4) What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
"Last Saturday David McNeice, Jr., was buried. He was twenty-two. He had
been married just three weeks. One week ago today he was standing in the
Washington Street Station waiting for a Boston subway train to arrive
when another man, screaming, abusive, and obviously drunk, entered the
station, walked to the edge of the platform, and fell on to the tracks.
Instantly--and I assume instinctively--twenty-two-year-old, newly
married, responsible David McNeice jumped down on the track to help. At
that instant, the train came out of the tunnel. McNeice frantically
waved his arms, and then, as one observer described it to the press, "It
was over so quickly." Not surprisingly, the drunken, abusive, fallen
man survived the experience quite nicely. As they buried David McNeice,
everyone who knew this young couple called it so needlessly, selfishly
senseless.
What does this have to do with the first day of school at BYU [ID]? Well, nothing really--then again maybe everything....
..... In the kind of Christian community we anxiously pursue, we must not even look like what we do not think or believe. And we must never look as if we did not care. That is why we make gentle reminders about dress and grooming. Every year at the start of school I see just a few, a very few, who have "grubby" or immodest clothing or hair that is not trimmed or groomed, and I think, "We have failed to help them understand what we are about at BYU." It is a part, however small, of the mission we have, the witness we bear, the colony we're creating. It is part of governing ourselves once correct principles have been taught and understood. And it is important in far more significant ways than dress and grooming, in far more private arenas of our lives....
....This reminder is, of course, directly applicable to all of us--beginning with the president of the university. If I robbed a bank this afternoon, or, worse yet for you, embezzled the university's operating funds, would I be the only one punished? I might be the only one to get a jail sentence, but you would be the ones punished. You and my wife and my children and my colleagues--all of you would bear part of that shame and burden. BYU and the LDS Church would be severely punished, at least in the public mind, for many years to come. That's unfair, you say, but what is fair about the death of David McNeice, Jr.? You see we are all, in a sense, waiting at the same station together. We each have our own hopes and plans and dreams. But by virtue of our enrolling at BYU we have stated our basic agreement as to which train we will ride and what special rules of conduct we will obey as passengers. Of course, one drunk can stagger into our station and right off the platform, bringing needless, heartrending--and unfair--tragedy to his "friends" (never his "enemies"--his enemies would have left him on the track) almost before the trip has even begun. But the risk David McNeice took is a risk we must run in a Christian community....
I ask you to care for each other the way the David McNeices of the world care. Don't play the part of the drunk. Leave BYU [-ID] months or years from now better than you found it. Study hard. Make every semester count. Like little Annie Greenwood, give the best that lies within you. It is no easy task or convenient colonial duty. It will require much from you, and faithful friends will be a strong defense, I love you and welcome you back to school. "Ye are my friends," Jesus said to his disciples, and with his own life gave them the love than which, he said, there is no greater. "Ye are my friends," he said, "if ye do whatsoever I command you. . . . These things I command you, that ye love one another" (John 15:14, 17).
We're all in this together. If someone is struggling, even with the Honor Code or some sin in their life, please help them out. Don't just let them wander from the fold, drown spiritually, or in the story let them stagger down on the tracks of an approaching train. To get where we want to be, it has to include everybody. By doing so, the joy you'll have of seeing them in heaven with you will be great.
On Sunday, we read in Luke 15: 4-7 about the parable of the lost sheep. It says:
4) What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
6) And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
7) I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
(Here at BYU-Idaho, there are some that looooooveeeee to complain about the Honor Code we have, saying that it forces us to conform or that it limits so much we want to do. If you feel that, read it over and then ponder about how its a daily reminder of the same type of covenants we make when we're baptized, which we should be living everyday anyway...but thats another tangent for another time)
When someone we know is in trouble and struggling with something (i.e. like the Honor Code mentioned above) or with any other type of sin, how eager are we to go and help them out? When the sheep strayed from the flock, im sure it wasn't out of sheer stupidity or willful disobedience to the shepherd, perhaps it's because they saw no danger in going to what they thought was greener pastures. But in any case, because we care for the welfare of that sheep or, in this case a friend, we go out and try to save that person. We leave our comfort zone and go on the rescue, something recently emphasized by the church.
I would hope that no one if they saw somebody drowning would go, "Oh thats too bad, i would help but it's their life. They got into that position themselves, so it's not my job to go in and save them." (If someone did, i'd wholeheartedly smack them in the face) If we're of the responsible type, we'd jump in and try to save them because the physical danger is obvious. But if someone is in spiritual danger, is it evident at all? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Apply the drowning scenario to someone in spiritual trouble and imagine...we're all in this life together, and we should bring each other back with us as well.
Years ago in a BYU devotional, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland talked about "A Faithful Friend is a Strong Defense". Some of the things he said have floored me. I'll sample some of his quotes from it here, then give a good wrapping up on it. It was given back in September 1982, but all of it applies today:
What does this have to do with the first day of school at BYU [ID]? Well, nothing really--then again maybe everything....
..... In the kind of Christian community we anxiously pursue, we must not even look like what we do not think or believe. And we must never look as if we did not care. That is why we make gentle reminders about dress and grooming. Every year at the start of school I see just a few, a very few, who have "grubby" or immodest clothing or hair that is not trimmed or groomed, and I think, "We have failed to help them understand what we are about at BYU." It is a part, however small, of the mission we have, the witness we bear, the colony we're creating. It is part of governing ourselves once correct principles have been taught and understood. And it is important in far more significant ways than dress and grooming, in far more private arenas of our lives....
....This reminder is, of course, directly applicable to all of us--beginning with the president of the university. If I robbed a bank this afternoon, or, worse yet for you, embezzled the university's operating funds, would I be the only one punished? I might be the only one to get a jail sentence, but you would be the ones punished. You and my wife and my children and my colleagues--all of you would bear part of that shame and burden. BYU and the LDS Church would be severely punished, at least in the public mind, for many years to come. That's unfair, you say, but what is fair about the death of David McNeice, Jr.? You see we are all, in a sense, waiting at the same station together. We each have our own hopes and plans and dreams. But by virtue of our enrolling at BYU we have stated our basic agreement as to which train we will ride and what special rules of conduct we will obey as passengers. Of course, one drunk can stagger into our station and right off the platform, bringing needless, heartrending--and unfair--tragedy to his "friends" (never his "enemies"--his enemies would have left him on the track) almost before the trip has even begun. But the risk David McNeice took is a risk we must run in a Christian community....
I ask you to care for each other the way the David McNeices of the world care. Don't play the part of the drunk. Leave BYU [-ID] months or years from now better than you found it. Study hard. Make every semester count. Like little Annie Greenwood, give the best that lies within you. It is no easy task or convenient colonial duty. It will require much from you, and faithful friends will be a strong defense, I love you and welcome you back to school. "Ye are my friends," Jesus said to his disciples, and with his own life gave them the love than which, he said, there is no greater. "Ye are my friends," he said, "if ye do whatsoever I command you. . . . These things I command you, that ye love one another" (John 15:14, 17).
We're all in this together. If someone is struggling, even with the Honor Code or some sin in their life, please help them out. Don't just let them wander from the fold, drown spiritually, or in the story let them stagger down on the tracks of an approaching train. To get where we want to be, it has to include everybody. By doing so, the joy you'll have of seeing them in heaven with you will be great.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Dear Future Wife...
(Seems only fair that since i made a letter to my future unborn children, why not make one to an alive person that i'll eventually marry? Sending an imaginary blog-letter up to heaven is a lot easier than to some woman i may or may not know. Plus the shipping would be a headache, but anyways...)
First off...i would really like to know who and where you are! Searching for has many headaches, not only for me but for others as well.
Please don't be scared off when im being polite or question my motives when i am friendly in a time of need. its just the kind of guy i was raised to be: a guy that is respectful.
Seems like every other guy here is dating or engaged. I'm struggling just to find someone to date regularly to (heaven forbid) become my girlfriend. I wish i knew the answer to that one. Why??? I don't have some factory default do i? Am i too tall? Too goofy? Too nice? Too boring? WHAT?!?!?! (i'm not yelling at you, it's just some venting frustration)
So...you may be asking what qualifications you need? I'm not some conceited prick that has a laundry list of superficial crap. (we all get old and ugly anyway) But anyways, here they are:
Before i finish, i must tell you this...i will love you and cherish you like you won't believe. I don't have a lot, but what i do have i'll give, and make sure that you made the right choice to be married and sealed to me for time and all eternity. Just let me find you...
Love,
Peter
First off...i would really like to know who and where you are! Searching for has many headaches, not only for me but for others as well.
Please don't be scared off when im being polite or question my motives when i am friendly in a time of need. its just the kind of guy i was raised to be: a guy that is respectful.
Seems like every other guy here is dating or engaged. I'm struggling just to find someone to date regularly to (heaven forbid) become my girlfriend. I wish i knew the answer to that one. Why??? I don't have some factory default do i? Am i too tall? Too goofy? Too nice? Too boring? WHAT?!?!?! (i'm not yelling at you, it's just some venting frustration)
So...you may be asking what qualifications you need? I'm not some conceited prick that has a laundry list of superficial crap. (we all get old and ugly anyway) But anyways, here they are:
- between the height of 4'11" and 6'2
- either blonde, brown, black, or red hair
- either brown, hazel, blue, green, etc. color of eyes
- good personality that's compatible with mine. (this is a real kicker. When i say compatible i mean: doesn't guilt me for stupid crap, doesn't judge my motives to be bad or pity driven, doesn't HAVE to like sports; but at least supportive of my like for sports, can jam to my music right alongside with me, can be a dork with me too, etc...)
- i need to be physically, spiritually, and emotionally attracted to...as well as willing to stay in rexburg as i finish my bachelor's degree in 3 or so years.
Before i finish, i must tell you this...i will love you and cherish you like you won't believe. I don't have a lot, but what i do have i'll give, and make sure that you made the right choice to be married and sealed to me for time and all eternity. Just let me find you...
Love,
Peter
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)