Sometimes i like to imagine/daydream about my future kids. Not something you usually hear about from some guys, but hey...now you know at least one. I imagine that as they're kicking it up in Heaven waiting to be born, they look down at me from above. Hopefully im doing what i can so that they'd be proud of me, anxious to for me to be their dad. Since i can't talk to them or send a Facebook message, i'll just pretend to send them a letter in blog form. (just use your imagination)
Dear Future Kids,
Oh hey, it's me...your future dad. Can i call you David, Isabella, Shawn, and Chloe? I kind of already have some names in mind for you, so just go with it. Of course, your future mom will have a say in that, so these are just rough draft names for now. So how are you? I already know that answer in a way, since you're in Heaven with our Heavenly Father learning so much about what you're going to be experiencing when you come into this life. You know that it'll have it's ups and downs, but you also know that in the end it'll be all worth it.
I hope when you look down at me from up there, you can have a sense of what kind of guy i am. I'm trying my best down here. A lot of what i do is to be able to be a good father to you and husband to your future mom. Praying, reading scriptures, going to church, going to the temple, being a good all-around person, etc...it's not just for me, it's also for you. Things that my mom and dad have taught me, i try to add upon so that you can be a better person than me.
I wish you could help me with some hints of who your future mom will be. I'm trying to find her, but it's been pretty difficult. Rest assured, whoever the heck she is and if she can handle me as her husband, she'll be a great mom to you. A good way for me to show my love to you guys will be to love your future mom. And i sure as heck will, that's for dang sure.
I'm excited when i get to hold you in my arms as a newborn, getting to give you each a blessing, seeing you laugh and smile and all the other things little kids do as they grow. Hopefully you'll have the blessing of height, perhaps even the "Beckman whirlpool" in your hair. I guess you know how you'll be, but im just having a little fun. I'll love you regardless.
I can't wait to see you in the future.
Sincerely,
Your future dad
Yep, that's us :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I have no idea how to post a thumbnail on the side
So by now, i realize im not the best blogger out there, but i think/attempt to get straight to the point. Other times i try to sound witty or funny, but for now on im going to try to cut all that crap out of it, because having it just plain spoken is more of the real me.
It's been almost 3 weeks since Becky broke up with me. I've been doing better moving past it and trying to parachute back to Earth safely, but it's been rocky still. Typically when you lose someone that you discuss marrying one day and the next you're getting told "i can't be with you...ever", it doesn't just get dropped right away. Getting shot point blank in the chest with the ultimate "no" takes a while to heal, but the good news is that im out of the hospital bed and walking again for my emotional physical therapy. Being off-track hasn't helped that much in getting out and about to meet new people. Do i hate her or spite her for what happened? No way, i couldn't ever do that to her. I'm not gonna lie though, whenever i see her at church or walk by her apartment, i'll occasionally hear the strands of "If You Ever Come Back" from The Script stream on my mental Pandora, perhaps hoping for that chance that most likely won't happen. In that case, i try not to dwell too much on it. I sometimes have to relate the story to that ask, but i try to give a condensed version whenever i can.
With that, i sometimes think, "Man...i did all i could to be the best guy possible, and it still didn't work out...what more can i do for the future?" The answer to that is....well, if i personally had it, i wouldn't be asking. Only God knows. So if my future wife is somehow reading this, all i can say is that im not perfect by any means, but you'll without a doubt know how much you mean to me and have someone loyal and honest (to a fault) as i am right by your side. That's all i'll say about that.
Other than that, work is going good. It can be equal parts fun and crazy, but one thing i've been able to learn is that serving someone else can be rewarding like you can't imagine. Working with those with developmental disabilities tiring, but in the back of mind are the paraphrased words from my boss: "WE help them now, but THEY will be helping us get into Heaven." Think about it
My eyes are getting heavy and i need my weekend sleeping in. (This beats a pen and paper journal any day)
It's been almost 3 weeks since Becky broke up with me. I've been doing better moving past it and trying to parachute back to Earth safely, but it's been rocky still. Typically when you lose someone that you discuss marrying one day and the next you're getting told "i can't be with you...ever", it doesn't just get dropped right away. Getting shot point blank in the chest with the ultimate "no" takes a while to heal, but the good news is that im out of the hospital bed and walking again for my emotional physical therapy. Being off-track hasn't helped that much in getting out and about to meet new people. Do i hate her or spite her for what happened? No way, i couldn't ever do that to her. I'm not gonna lie though, whenever i see her at church or walk by her apartment, i'll occasionally hear the strands of "If You Ever Come Back" from The Script stream on my mental Pandora, perhaps hoping for that chance that most likely won't happen. In that case, i try not to dwell too much on it. I sometimes have to relate the story to that ask, but i try to give a condensed version whenever i can.
With that, i sometimes think, "Man...i did all i could to be the best guy possible, and it still didn't work out...what more can i do for the future?" The answer to that is....well, if i personally had it, i wouldn't be asking. Only God knows. So if my future wife is somehow reading this, all i can say is that im not perfect by any means, but you'll without a doubt know how much you mean to me and have someone loyal and honest (to a fault) as i am right by your side. That's all i'll say about that.
Other than that, work is going good. It can be equal parts fun and crazy, but one thing i've been able to learn is that serving someone else can be rewarding like you can't imagine. Working with those with developmental disabilities tiring, but in the back of mind are the paraphrased words from my boss: "WE help them now, but THEY will be helping us get into Heaven." Think about it
My eyes are getting heavy and i need my weekend sleeping in. (This beats a pen and paper journal any day)
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