"Stay Forever"

One of my favorite shows the last year or so has been How I Met Your Mother. The last episode, which was titled "Stay Forever", made me all saddish and nostalgic because you see the group of friends on the show move on in different stages of life and slowly drift apart, yet the yearning to have the group "stay forever". As i approach my 1 year anniversary and see some of my friends moving on in life, i want those friendships to stay forever as well. Excuse me now as i wax all poetic.

I remember back in Spring 2011 when it was my second semester here at Y-I. My previous roommates before either got married or moved back home for an off-track, so i was all by myself to find new roommates and pray they didn't suck. I got to Sunrise Village and the first roommate i met was Jesse, who was still moving some of his stuff around. Later that day I met BJ, who was my room-roommate. Slowly, us three became friends. There were the painful sunburnt times at Egin Lakes, the random barbeques during the first 7-week break, and runs to Jack-in-the-Box on occasion. Later on we added along some Canadians and Trevor to the group and we had such a solid apartment. We all shared good times, bad times, heartbreaks and so on. For the most part, Me and BJ and Jesse roomed together for about two years; adding Trevor and it was about a year or so.

Through it all, myself and BJ and Jesse each started dating great women and slowly all of us got engaged and then married to those great women. Jesse and his wife had a baby back in April, BJ and his wife just had a baby, and myself and Natalie haven't had a baby yet, but sometime in the future. And Trevor has moved on down the Weber State to start a new chapter/major. It's been awesome to see us all grow and move on in life.

And that's what kind of scares me as well....

I'm not sure i'm prepared yet to see some of my good friends move on and move away. I've already seen a couple of my good friends move on and it sucks. I'm terrible at making new friends, i don't exactly see myself as very approachable at first. So when i do make good friends and get to hang out with them as they're now parents or what not, i want them to stay forever. I want my beautiful wife to stay forever. I don't want it to change. I want these friendships to be the kind that send each other Christmas cards or something and brag about kids and so on. But things will change and people will move on about their lives. I feel like i have to say thank you to friends for simply sticking it out with me and Natalie. Yeah i'm lame, but i'm so grateful for them all.

(With Natalie, i want this to stay forever and it can be. We're approaching that 1 year mark and while some may see us as marriage rookies, i'm excited but also nervous for the future: What we'll be doing and when to grow our family and when to start grad school and where to live, etc. As we continue to learn and grow into our roles as husband and wife, there is so much ahead that life will bring. As we each give 100% effort in supporting one another, life opens up and becomes easier than it would be alone.)

To my good friends and my beautiful wife, please stay forever

7 months and counting

(In advance, i'll warn everyone that i talk a lot about marriage in posts and blogs since it's my field of study. Just so you all know...)

So i had this really long story blog all figured out yesterday and was planning on finishing it up today, but as i thought more about it, i scrapped it. Why? Well, it's kind of the same ol' story i've shared a bunch of times over and over, and probably a lot have read it and now gotten tired of it, so change of plans with this one.

In the last 7 months of being married, i've noticed my whole perspective and attitudes towards marriage have shifted. Not too bad for only 7 months worth, imagine what it might be in a year, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years, etc. I remember how pushy i was with advice to my friends about marriage. I had the whole "JUST GO GET MARRIED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!" mentality. It probably spooked some friends out and maybe that's why no one asks for advice anymore, who knows.

So to make sense of the title and to make it short and sweet, here's what i have learned about marriage so far and how they've grown. Perhaps it might reach out to those that may be skeptical about marriage or simply have some fears of the unknown:


-Marriage isn't this grand love story that is portrayed in movies. What?! You mean the movies aren't real representations of life?! Shocker, i know. Some of the best times i've spent with Natalie have been while we went on walks around Porter Park, shopping for groceries for the next day or week, went on dates to Costa Vida or Kiwi Loco, playing board games, or simply lying in bed talking. Sounds boring to the party-goer single that wants some whirlwind romance, but the whole simplicity of it makes that much more meaningful to me.

-Sharing is easier than i thought it would be. You get to share EVERYTHING with each other. Little bit of the left-overs left in the fridge? Yep, i can scale back and have Natalie eat the rest. Sharing space? No biggie, i don't have much stuff anyways. Finances are still a work in progress, but those getting married soon or sometime in the future, you'll start to notice it gradually comes natural.

-It may have taken longer to get married, but it was worth the wait now that i look back. I can look back at all the failed dates and experiences and thank "The Gardener" for cutting me down at that point to prepare me (for those who know that reference). I didn't have to go out and travel or "find myself" and do a bunch of self-serving things in order to get to this point, God already provided character shaping experiences along the way already. How can you "find yourself" and grow without actually doing those things to work on being the best future spouse as you can? No amount of traveling or selfish adventures can compensate that.

-Whether you're getting married older or you're 18 or so on your first semester, as long as you feel ready for the challenge, that's a great head-start. Age doesn't automatically qualify you for marriage; there are some really mature 18 year olds and some really immature 25-26 year olds. As long as you're ready, you can give yourself the green light; however long it takes.

-Be ready to get your "i'm sorry's" out and use them often. With me, i say a lot of things, unintentionally, that'll either upset or offend someone without me even knowing it. In dating and relationships, i've had to use many "i'm sorry's" and i'm still near the starting line in marriage! It's not a sign of weakness, but a sign of "i'm sorry for being dumb, how can i do better in the future?" (that's how i see it anyways)

-Last but not least, have joy in the journey of it all. It will be the small moments that you get to experience now that later in life you can sit your kids down and say, "Kids...did i ever tell you the story of....?" I can just imagine growing old and being able to give that look to Natalie and have it be like, "hey remember when that happened?" with a smile.

Now i hope no one takes this the wrong way. I'm not expert whatsoever on marriage, nor do i try to masquerade as one. I'd like to be one someday, sure. But right now, if i were to compare marriage to a long and difficult video game, i'd still be in the tutorial mode! Seven months compared to most is barely a blip, but these seven months have made such a difference. I want to keep this good thing going for awhile.

Some parting words to singlehood

So now it's down to being single digits for days until i get married...SINGLE DIGITS! All the headaches and annoyances that have been said and posted on Facebook get to now come to fruition and be a reality. All those pointless angry posts can be even more buried away, thank goodness. Now don't take this thing as a "woohoo no more being single! suck it, single friends! Oh man, i better be annoying and rub this in the face of everyone and remind them via Facebook every single day that i'm going to get married and how wonderful it is and blah blah blah" Nope, just 'cause i'm not one to do that. But i do have some parting words about being single taught me. It's dangerous to be all bloggy around 1 AM when i should be going to bed, but i know i'll just forget it all in the morning if i don't, so whatever. Essentially i just want to say this: Dating is as complicated as you make it. That's it

The years leading up to where i am now, i was this when it came to dating:

Yep...got too excited at a dating opportunity and then i got impatient and tried to go to fast. Didn't work. And i just got to use a Tommy Boy clip, so hey it worked.

Over time until i got to about April 2012, i just did what i always did and went about doing nice things and someone appreciated it and ended up loving me for it.

The point is this:

Women: Be honest and tell the truth about how you feel and wait for Lord's timing
Men: Be honest and tell the truth about how you feel and wait for Lord's timing

See what i did there? Yeah...not too complicated. Looking back, it makes much more sense. If both men and women just said straight up the truth and were honest about how they feel, probably less would have such a hard time with dating. If you're doing all you can and still nothing, that's fine; it works out eventually. You think i wanted to be 25 just get married? No, but it worked out and it's the right time. Same applies for all.

Now i better go to bed before i say more that goes unread :P

Week 12: Divorce, step-families, and aging families

Oh man....this is the last blog post! Mostly excited about it, so hopefully i can make it through this last blog post without ending it too early. But anyways, the last couple of weeks focused on divorce, step-families, and the aging family where kids have left and it's only empty-nesters. Listening more about divorce is just depressing and i never want to come to a point where a divorce would be brought up. Too many people are affected and hurt by it and it's just bad altogether. Like Elder Oaks said in the Mormon Message we watched, if we are ill or sick we don't just give up and pull the plug...you do everything you can to make it better! Marriage is worth fighting for and is an eternal responsibility. Step-families would be hard too, i haven't had to deal with much of them at all in my family, so my insight on them is very limited. And aging familes, my parents are approaching the time when they are empty-nesters in a few years, so that stage will come with retiring and mission and spoiling grandkids, while also taking on chores and responsibilities by themselves.

Woo! that's it! It's been real and it's been fun, maybe not real fun doing these blogs that no one reads...bu whatever

Week 11: Parenting

So for week 11, we talked about parenting and about differing parenting styles. Besides getting married, my next big goal in life is to become a father. Just imaging holding my little baby in my arms as he/she reaches out to poke my face or is peacefully sleeping gets the warm fuzzies all over inside me. With this, i want to be the best dad i can be before i actually become a parent. What could i do now til then? By wanting to make sure the Gospel is taught in my home, by keeping media that i watch and listen to clean and not something i pollute my mind with, and by working hard in schooling and my employment so i can be a great provider.

Also, we talked about the different parenting styles out there: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Authoritarian is when the parent is in charge and the kids have no say in the matter, the "boss has spoken" type of thing. Permissive parents let their children do what they want and want to be "friends" with their children. Authoritative parents are in charge, but they also allow their children to have say in matters, so there is some compromise and negotiation. For me, i want to be that type of parent!

I hope to be a good parent when that time comes...i guess we'll see

Week Ten: Fathers & Finances

Man, i cannot wait til i become a father. Being able to hold my little baby in my arms and seeing life in a very real and whole new sense will be amazing. At the same time, i know thoughts will fill my mind like, "How am i going to fully provide for this child? Am i going to raise him/her to be the best they can be in the Gospel?" It's a lot of hard work, but it'll be so worth it. I see how the media portrays fathers as goofs or someone that's optional and it kind of angers me. With all the studies out there to show the big impact of fathers, i feel fatherhood is just as important as motherhood because both of them need to be present to fully prepare and raise a child. With the Proclamation to the World there, it is pretty dang clear the need for fathers and the role they play in a family. For one, i feel that i'll be up to the challenge and strive to be a good father. I'll use some of the things my own father used to raise me and my brothers and implement them with my own style to hopefully parent the way God wants me to. Let's hope so :)

Week Nine: Communication

Making up for lost blog time actually isn't as hard or laborious as i thought...hmmm...anyway, week nine was about communication within the family. I see communication as HUGELY IMPORTANT in a family; it holds them together when mixed together with love at 350 degrees for eternity minutes (it was a cooking joke...ha....ha....ha) But when we had this lesson, i felt the bright light being shone right at my face. For me, in my mind i thought i was a good listener and communicator. I mean, i want to go into marriage & family therapy, so sure i must be good, right?....WRONG. I had a crash course in how good i'm not around this time when my fiancee was dealing with stress with her homework and reminded me about how she needs to vent sometimes and not have me prescribe solutions for it. With how i felt i listened, i would say things like: "oh don't worry about it", "it's not that big of a deal", and "that's easy, you'll be fine"...not the best when looking back on it. It hit me deep when she said i need to listen better and communicate in a way thats less "i need to fix it now" and more "i'm going to help you through it". Since then, i've gotten slightly better at shutting up and listening and better communicating my thoughts and words and actions more constructively.

Week Eight: Stress

My blog blitz rolls on! For week eight in Family Relations, we learned about stress on the individual and the family and the benefits that can come from it. Wait....there's benefits to stress???? Hold on, there must be a mistake somewhere....nope, it's true. In class, there was an example given about astronauts and the effect of weightlessness on their bodies when they are in space. Sure it sounds like fun to float around and not have any pressure on the body, but there are residual effects on them when they return to Earth. With no stress on the body, their bone structure grows weaker because no stress has been applied to the skeletal structure. Their backs get compacted, their muscles atrophy, and so on. The same is with our lives. Without stress, then our lives would be carefree and easy and we wouldn't grow at all. Joseph Smith needed Liberty Jail to teach him some very important eternal doctrines, Nephi needed to cut off someone's head in order to preserve his family lineage and records, and so on. We don't need to experience those types of things, but our own trials and stress shape us to be more in the image of Christ. We need stress....managing it in a useful way is the best way to handle stress.

Week Seven: The "S" word

Holy schmo....i havent made any kind of entry in almost two months. Yikes....well, here is me making up for some lost time. (hooray for class repentance, right?)

Well from this lesson back in week 7, we talked about sexual intimacy between a husband and wife and the sacred powers that are contained in them. For me, i feel that the topic gets a "too taboo" label on it by a lot of LDS members, so they avoid the issue and never discuss it in a mature, sacred manner. With that, people then get the shock of a lifetime when it's the wedding night and they have no idea what to do or how to be delicate to their spouse. I feel that proper discussion on sexual intimacy should be taught more frequent than it is to young LDS adults. With that, they have a better understanding of what to expect and the physiology that goes on. Being in Family Relations and Marriage Prep from last spring has given me a ton of useful information and understanding so when i am married, i know of how God-like these feelings are; and they should be treated and talked about as such.

Family Relations: Week Tres!

Ok so i totally forgot about posting something last week, sooooo....(not that anyone would've read it if i did...) But from this week i got:

I took away different things about social class and the kind of demographic things that separate us in the United States. From those videos we watched on Monday, it was interesting that there are such divides among those that are labeled as "Haves" and "Have Nots". And then with Friday and me playing the Mexican dad who leaves his family to go to the United States to find work and opportunity, but instead finds more problems than before....yikes, im not sure i could do that to my family, but some people do do that and i can't imagine what it's like for them. Just role playing was hard enough!

So this is how it feels

Alright, a post that isn't for my FAM 160 class! I pretty much just thought about it as i was getting ready for bed, 'cause i wouldn't be able to fall asleep until i typed this up, so here i am barely awake and making a new blog entry! That usually goes well...

So for those who didn't know already (which is very few i imagine), but i got engaged just a week and a half ago! woohoo!!!! It was certainly a very good day indeed and can't wait to see what unfolds in the future for me and my soon-to-be wife, Natalie. So as i was brushing my teeth, i was thinking about it and the "so this is what it feels like" feeling hit me. You know, the feeling you get when something good seems to FINALLY happen to you and then you get to see why everyone really enjoys it. I remember feeling it when i graduated high school 7 years ago (yikes!). I'd see the seniors and all the cool stuff they get to experience and i was like, "man that'll be awesome when i get to be a senior and walk across the stage to get my diploma". And then it happened and it was great. Then when it was leaving to serve a mission. After three weeks that felt more like three years were over, i finally got to go into the field and experience first hand all that the mission offers and then again when i came home after the two years. Sad to say, i felt that "so this is what it feels like" when i got my first girlfriend ever after almost a year from coming home. Those who know me (or have at least read my blogs) know that marriage has been one of the biggest things i have prayed for and longed for a while, but had to go through A LOT of heartache and headaches to get to this point. One time i got super close to just being engaged last year but then it fell apart and was one of the worst few months i can remember. Now that i've reached this point, i look back and see where i've been and where it has taken me to get to this point right now. The road to get here being engaged sucked, but i love it now knowing that the Lord prepared me for it and to be with someone that is truly wonderful. This "so this is what it feels like" will only continue throughout life, with the next big one coming in August when it all becomes official, followed by children in the future and graduating from college and so on.

So this is what it feels like....i like it

Family Relations 160: Week Uno!

Hmmm...i go back and forth as far as writing in my blog goes, but since i need to write stuff every week for class...here i am!

So this week, i learned more about the social trends that are going in the world today. Marriage ages are raising, less children are being born, more are entering into cohabitation, and the big one of same-sex marriage. Holy crap, that's scary! Values and the structure of the family are going further down and it's up to us to stick our beliefs and stand up for what is right. For me, i can't wait to have my own family and be able to have the Gospel prevalent in my home. When people come into my home, i want them to leave with the impression of, "Oh man they are striving to do what's right there!" And it all starts now way before that time; not when i have to at that moment. By preparing now to stand up for strong families, then that attitude will become a behavior that we can teach to others and develop in the home.

So...not too bad as a first post, eh?

Crazy how things change

So apparently i caused a mini stir the other day on Facebook. I posted a status about my excitement to get married and how awesome it will be, and a ton of people confused it to be a engagement announcement. First off, IM NOT ENGAGED....as of now. I gotta wait a little bit (as in, she has to be back in Rexburg first, and that ain't happening until April) and secondly, if i was engaged, then EVERYBODY would know very matter-of-factly. Just as a little heads up for everyone :).

In any case, as i was thinking of posting this, it occurred to me just how crazy things change from a year ago until now. Last year, i was a week or so away from getting dumped by my then girlfriend after dating for about a couple months. I had wanted to marry her, but obviously that wasnt going to happen. Today, im dating Ms. Natalie Elias and going on 8 1/2 months strong (despite the cross-country distance at the moment) Of course her and i have talked marriage many times. I guess thats the reason for this little thing here.

Most people who have known me are aware that i talk about marriage in general A LOT. Part of it is because i want to go into possible marriage counseling, the other part is that i've always thought and been taught that it's a pretty awesome thing. It may annoy some, but im pretty unapologetic when it comes to this topic.

It's taken a good while, but i feel that i have been molded in a way that helps me ready for marriage. Some friends i have talked to have mentioned their hesitancy with wanting to get married. I'm curious and ask "why?" The general theme is a sort of unsure feeling about themselves (insecurities), or worried about finding the right one, or even thinking that single life is more fun. Whatever the reason is, those friends i know are not as enthused about it as i am. I can understand why they may think that. But for me, all i know is that the biggest and best goal a person can make is getting married and sealed to a spouse for time and all eternity in the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage (which is the highest covenant you can make in life, which sounds pretty awesome to me)


For me, i am WAY excited to get married. Besides the big obvious thing you get to do when you're married, i know of a few more, deeper things im excited for when im married. (specifically to Natalie)

-First off, i cant wait to wake up that first morning and the first thing i see is my brand new wife. No make up, hair not done, in pajamas, and just as beautiful as anything. We get to wake up and make breakfast for each other and just chillax the day together. To me, i feel that when you get married, its like you start a new life. For how many years, you grow and mature and do things to prepare you for this moment. When you get there, some things you get rid of and assume this new role as a spouse. You get to cook together, budget together, serve together, laugh together, cry together, and so on. Your total independence is altered in a way where "I" becomes "WE".

-Another one is that you get to have your own little family together; the way you feel is best for everyone. Some things that i didnt necessarily grow up with much; i'll now get to do it with my own children. You can start new traditions and new ideas to bless your family. I imagine myself quite often playing with my future children: feeding them, walking with them, babble-talking with them and so on. I guess i kinda geek out with that.

-And another example would be is that you have someone to do something with all the time. Whether they're your date or a "partner in crime" sorta speak (legally). Sure i can have fun going out to eat or watching a movie or cooking or what have you. But for me, it's even better when you have "someone by your side to sing along" (got that Muppets reference?) In the future, i'd love to take vacations to places i love already and also places i've never been to; but it would make the trip so much more worthwhile to share that experience right beside my wife. I tend to have more fun alongside someone else.

Being at BYU-I, it's almost a joke that someone is excited to get married and should just settle down and have fun going on a ton of dates and crazy outings. Meh...doesnt thrill me as much and seems like just a big waste of time. I want my new chapter in the "Book of Peter" to begin. It'll be hard, yes. Difficult, i know. Stressful, no doubt. But living that chapter and all the happiness that comes with it far outweighs how hard of a read it'll be.

I seem to be forever the optimist when it comes to wanting to get married? Sure, i may get some grief about it but i dont really give a crap. I know what is important in my life and i want to chase it as much as possible. As Bart Scott once said, i "CANT WAIT!" :)


That chapter is almost ready to get started writing. Where's my pen?

Oh 2012

So sitting here December 31, obviously something is typically written about what to look forward to in the upcoming year and reflections about the past year. Now, im really bad about predicting what comes next or things that could happen, so i'll go the easy route and look back at 2012 and where i've been and came out from. Kinda makes you appreciate the lessons you've learned and how the Lord helped you get through it.

So the year started out good enough, i was dating a nice girl, plus her and i had started talking about our future. I had a couple new roommates that were great, so i was thinking that staying in Rexburg while not in school and just working was going to be pretty awesome. I mean, the weather sucked a bit, but it didn't bother me a whole lot. Things were going great up until about the 20th or something: thats when this girl was having second thoughts about wanting to be with me. I was about as shocked as me finding that Hostess donettes were all gone: completely! The following Sunday she broke up with me. Not the start i wanted at all! 2012 looked like it was going to be pretty looooooong...

Yeah i was a mess for a while. Probably some of my roommates were thinking what the heck they got themselves into by rooming with me. Besides my birthday that month, February sucked a little bit. So did about half of March. But there was one little spark in February, though, that has had a massive influence on my life...

It was on or near Valentine's Day when i decided to send a quick Facebook comment to a girl i barely knew named Natalie Elias. I hadn't really talked to her before, but I asked, "Got any plans for Valentine's Day?". She said no and it led to a little conversation but not much after. Soon afterwards though, we started to talk a little bit more and play Words with Friends. I liked it because it kept my mind off of the break-up and Natalie seemed really nice. I later asked if she was coming back to live at Sunrise Village Apartments again (she was there in the Fall previous, and thats where we had briefly been introduced. That night was also the night i took interest in the girl that ended up breaking up with me). We got off on a nice conversation about Georgia (she's from there, i served a mission there), i later then gave her my number so we could talk more. When it came time for the Spring semester to start, i offered to help her with her luggage to her apartment. She appreciated it and we became fast friends. I thought she was cute, but she wanted to serve a mission, so i backed off a wee bit. So i was just sitting in my apartment on a Sunday evening (April 22) when a couple of friends from the ward came by and asked if i wanted to go to Stadium Singing. I said sure and went with them. Meanwhile, Natalie was at her apartment, not wanting to go. While i was at Stadium Singing, Natalie's friends saw me and texted Natalie to come; and she got there fast! I saw her a couple times, but didnt go up to her after it was done. While home, i texted to her, "Hey! i was gonna say hi, but you were surrounded by a bunch of guys, haha". She texted back, "Well then you better make your move ;)" After a confused look, i texted her to explain herself, which resulted in me going to her apartment to ask what she meant. After bumbling a little bit (it was cute) she admitted that she liked me. I was floored!...in a good way! I kinda mumbled out that i had liked her too. It took me a couple of days to suck it up to hold her hand, but i did. She was the first to kiss me, so that was nice!  After her and i started dating, however, i wanted to make sure that this was going to be something serious and last. She was torn between dating me and serving a mission, so it was a bit uncertain for a couple of weeks. She got her answer first and it was to stay with me. But i hadn't got mine yet! What the crap! Why?! Ugh...a couple days later, i didn't get this blinding light of "YO PETER, DATE HER! SHE'S GOING TO BE GREAT!", but it was more of a "Hey...it doesn't feel wrong, so go for it!". I did, and havent looked back since. :)

For the rest of Spring semester, thats how it was. She decided to also stay for the 7 week break of summer which helped too! During then, we got to go on a lot of nice walks around Rexburg and talk and be by ourselves. We also brought up that we want to marry each other. SCORE! Fall came and things just got that much better as we solidified our feelings for one another. The sucky part would be that she'll be gone to Georgia for the winter (mid-December to mid-April) but thats ok...im a pretty stubborn guy (this instance its a good thing), which eventually leads me to me sitting right now typing this thing. 

As you read this, im sure you noticed that most of it was about Natalie. Well yeah, when you're dating someone for 8 out of the 12 months, it takes a bit of room. Sorry for the bag of popcorn you popped expecting to read something epic. Whoooops...

...............................
So what this year taught me?
...............................


That when there are times that are hard, challenging, and just plain suck; it can be reeeeeeeeally hard to have faith and hope for the future. But sucking it up, sticking to praying when its hard to see the answers come right away, and seeing the eternal perspective of things, then amazing blessings can walk into your life when you least expect it and have a great impact on your life now and in the future. What does 2013 bring? Hopefully a beautiful girl wearing a shiny ring, a long white dress, and a temple :).

Temples!

Just for the heck of it, i wanted to make a list of the temples that i've been to/been inside of so i can see how many i can visit for a portion of my lifetime. It'd be awesome to see how many i can!

-Denver, CO Temple*
-Mt. Timpanogos, UT Temple*
-Provo, UT Temple
-Columbia, SC Temple*
-Boise, ID Temple*
-Salt Lake City, UT Temple
-Rexburg, ID Temple*
-Jordan River, UT Temple*
-Idaho Falls, ID Temple*
-Oquirrh Mountain, UT Temple*

(*denotes i've been inside)

Fairly short list so far, but i have plenty more to be able to see and go inside!

Thoughts

Recently in the news, a few things have stuck out to me where my opinion tends to jump out. In that case, writing them down tends to help a little bit


On Penn State:
-Being a sports person, this headline has been around since late last year. For those of you that don't know, for many years there was coach at Penn State who had been molesting young boys, a lot of on school owned property. The much beloved head coach, Joe Paterno, as well as the governing body of the school had known of such things that were happening, but failed to report any of it until it was too late and the story broke out to the public. Since then, the man guilty of the abuse has been sent to jail, Paterno lost his reputation and died of cancer, and the administrators were fired and the school has been tainted with a bad reputation. Last week, the school received punishments from the NCAA saying that they need to pay $60 million in fines, 20 scholarships lost over the space of a few years, and no postseason play (conference championship or bowl game) for four years. Harsh, but they were needed in this case.

When reading different message boards about it, it's sad to see people already calling Penn State, "Pedo State" and even trashing the players and community, the ones not involved in the problems that went on. For me, obviously i feel for those affected by the abuse and their families, but also i feel for the players that the sanctions punish as well. Penn State had been doing great in the recruiting, but this was going to make it pretty hard. Some de-committed and left, but a good number of current players and prospective players pledged that they are staying, regardless of the penalties. To me, that shows that they are at the school for more than just football and that they have integrity to stick it out. Good for them.


On the Aurora shooting:
-On friday the 20th, i woke up and was thinking how great it was that im done with school for the next month and a half. Imagine my shock when the first thing i see when i get online is that a shooting occurred at a theater i had been to many times in my hometown 2 miles from my house and that 12 people would end up dead. One of those killed was a girl that i didn't know personally, but knew of and was a friend of many friends of mine i had back in high school. Luckily, none of my brothers went to the theater and were safe. After tragedies like this, communities become closer and tight knit. Some, however, immediately want to politicize the event and point the finger not just at the psycho who did, but others that may have facilitated it. With the shootings at Columbine, they blamed video games, but no strong correlation was found. With this shooting in Aurora, many are saying that it was the lack of concealed weapons permits the patrons didn't have.....SERIOUSLY?!?!?! 12 die and almost 60 are injured, and you're telling me that if people in the theater had concealed weapons permits, it would've have been prevented? Wow...the guy who did it had tactical body armor on from head to toe and multiple guns on him plus he threw tear gas grenades up to make visibility hard for everyone else. If people would fire back at him in a moment of chaos like that, more people could've been hurt/killed. Maybe if the guy wasn't crazy, that could've prevented it. Acts like this are so random and confusing, you can't just immediately point the finger at this or that which "could" be the reason for it. Tragedies happen, ok? It stinks, but it shows that life is fragile and the need to cherish it that much more apparent. I trust God enough to know that those that were killed are in a much more peaceful place and are "are taken home to that God who gave them life" (Alma 40:11)


On Chick-Fil-A:
-Oh boy, has this been a stupid one. So we are pretty familiar that Chick-Fil-A is a very conservatively-owned restaurant owned by Southern Baptist people. I for one applaud that they are closed on Sundays to observe the Sabbath day. But the CEO of Chick-Fil-A spoke recently that they are "guilty as charged" when it comes to being against gay marriage and supporting traditional and the Biblical definition of marriage being between a man and a woman. This i also support and agree with. So imagine the outcry they took when pro-gay supporters are now calling for boycotts against Chick-Fil-A and calling them "bigots", "intolerant", and "discriminatory". The Mayor of Boston said that Chick-Fil-A is not welcome there and that the Chicago Alderman said that they are not welcome in his ward of Chicago.

For me, this is getting ridiculous. When one looks up the definition of a "bigot", it says that it is someone who is "utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion". Chick-Fil-A in this instance is simply stating its opinion. It is not going to go to each of its customers, ask if they are gay, and then kick them out if they are. THAT would be bad and show that they are "utterly intolerant". They are simply exercising their right to free speech in the Constitution. Those rights we have are lost only if they infringe on the rights of others and become hostile. One opinion by one man does not make him a bigot any more than those who then lash out at the CEO and even to the point of bringing his faith into it make them bigots. Chick-Fil-A took a stand, and i agree with them personally. Not enough people take firm stands today about what they believe.


ok, im done. it's dang hot my apartment and typing is getting more and more hard for now

The Mustache Theory

So i have this theory for this upcoming winter semester that i think could work. Here's the backdrop:


Mi novia (Natalie) will be heading home for the winter semester since that is her off-track. It's mine as well, but i'll be staying here because of my job (for some reason, i really like earning money). She raised a concern that hopefully i wouldn't fall in love with somebody else while she is away. I quickly assured her that wouldn't happen for a number of reasons. While thinking of something to calm her fears, i thought of a brilliant idea....grow a mustache!

Yes, yes...i know how wrong that sounds. I, for one, promised myself that if i ever did grow a mustache, that i would punch myself in the face. Well...it's tempting, but we'll see. But still...i think it'll work great! Not only will my own fortitude keep other ladies away, but with that lip sweater sitting nicely above my upper lip, it'll drive the rest away! It's perfect! I hate mustaches, you gotta do what you gotta do.

It sure as heck won't look like this:

But close enough. I'm stubborn enough that this will work! It'll be worth it

Petey-Pie on: Communication

(DISCLAIMER: this are just my personal opinions, so you can add to them or discuss if you wish)

I figure that since i want to be someday a marriage & family therapist, so giving advice/council is what i'll be doing. So why not practice now? So this will be the start of a little series on things about relationships and such. A lot of it has come from or influenced by my marriage prep class, which has quickly become my favorite class full of useful info. So...

COMMUNICATION

For an analogy to help with this, i'll chose what i call the "relationship house":

The foundation is built on trust---without it, the whole thing falls apart. Trust is everything.
the walls with friendship---the basics to which you can build on and add to.
the windows of honesty---you want nothing to hide
the roof that caps it all off is love---seals everything in the house and protects from outside influence.
and I believe that communication is the mortar that keeps it all together---fills in all the tiny cracks to keep the walls and roof up.

(You can tell if one of these is weak and needs repair. If not, then the whole thing could crumble bit by bit until it's destroyed.)

To start off, in a relationship the communication is small. When a couple first meet and go on dates, things are at the simple stage of just asking questions getting to know the other person. Pretty innocent, right? But as the courtship/relationship increases, then there should be a positive correlation in the communication increasing. By the time the couple is serious and on to marriage, then the communication should be open and free with the other person, since you are supposed to be sharing many things as a married couple.

A quick tip:
-if you have something to tell someone, SAY IT! Don't coward away at the last minute or make it seem like a riddle that has to be solved. We're all adults here (hopefully). For instance, i greatly appreciate when im told something up front and honestly, even if the news i hear sucks. But at least i was told, right?I guess im one of those bold types that would rather hear that.


I firmly believe that so many arguments and fights could be avoided if people just communicated. Money problems, something maybe someone took offense at, assumptions, etc. could be taken care of if people said what they meant. Give it a try...

"The Station"

Oh dang...it's been exactly a month since i blogged! I must've found something important to do, huh? Since then, i've been immersed with school and homework, started dating a very sweet young woman, and have enjoyed work, albeit with some cut hours since im in school again. (Dang you switching from off-track to on again...)

But anyways, this weekend i needed a nice weekend outside of rexburg and the wedding of a friend down here in Utah was a perfect antidote! So my good friends Jordan and Kristen were nice enough to let me tag along yet again down to Utah to take part in the wedding sealing. Along with that were some perks of eating In-N-Out for lunch today, not having the wind constantly blowing me away, and a lot of other tasty food with friends. Hey, it works. However, it did reaffirm my beliefs that:

1.) Utah drivers are 10x worse than Idaho drivers
2.) i could never really attend BYU as an undergraduate and/or single. The place weirds me out for some reason.
3.) The sun actually can stay out for periods of time with nice weather. I heard this is called "Spring".

My main focus however for this will be my feelings about what i felt today as i attended the sealing of brett and tara przybyla. So yes....this will be about marriage. If you're sick of me talking about already, then you can just stop reading and go with your day. Honestly, im surprised you've stuck with reading this far already. But in any case, i feel it's important....again.

To begin, this is my third wedding sealing i've been to. The first one was of my cousin miranda's wedding back in 2009, the second being jordan and kristen's last january, and then today. I felt a little bit out of place, since i was neither part of any of the families involved (i was purely labeled "guest"), and second i was and obviously still am not married. As the session started and the temple sealer started, it was a massive Holy Ghost juggernaut. Hearing all the promises and eternal implications hit me deep and has so for three times thus far. During it, i will admit that i teared up. One, it being a very powerful experience and secondly, i yearn for that in my life so freaking much. Is this a complaining blog? It's not, no. Just me reinforcing myself and hopefully doing the same for others how important it is.

As the sealing was over and the hugs were being exchanged, the sealer said, "If people only knew how important this is, they would crawl and their hands and knees to the temple to receive it." That's powerful stuff! So when i hear others whine or complain ay school, "Oh no here we go again...another talk/devotional on marriage!" Well....why do you think that is? Why is it harped on so much? Is it because they're bored and have nothing to talk about? Are the administrators just that eager to get everyone married? Go read Doctrine & Covenants 131 and come back to me...Along with that there a myriad of talks about the importance of it. Just go to LDS.org and type in "marriage" and look at the all the talks from PROPHETS and APOSTLES that have repeatedly and consistently given counsel on the matter. They're very inspired men with a great deal of insight from God, so what they say is very important in my book.

This is just me, but what is the fun about being single for a long time? Yeah you get to go out on dates with a variety of people and do things that you personally enjoy and so on. And those are great...up to a certain point. For me, some of it is losing its appeal. There comes a point when we have to face reality and take that leap of faith into something that won't be easy, but sure is heck very worth it.

Life is hard, yes i get that. Why go through it alone? Facing problems in life is best when you have someone to share it with. Someone that is willing to spend time and all eternity with you to start a family and progress towards exaltation sounds like a blast to me. If the Muppets have taught anything lately, it's that "life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along".

Can we fully prepare for it? Not completely, no. We can do some things to prepare, like: living with roommates, cooking for ourselves, budgeting the limited money we already have, and so on. I know my list isn't that deep, but you get the idea. My guess is that marriage is a lot of on the job training, things we get to experience and find out as we're living it. Obviously, you should get to know your future spouse through dating and other activities like that, but trying to figure every single little detail about them is boring, admit it. Getting to know and find out after very careful and prayerful consideration is a useful tactic, i think.

I admit...i really don't know when that time will come. God knows that i long for it; sometimes when it aches because i want to be obedient to that commandment to get married and i want to have that kind of love. I sound probably crazy right now, but this is council i have been given from a Prophet of God, the scriptures, my parents, my ecclesiastical leaders, my former mission president, etc. I'm not crazy or in a big fat rush to do it, i just want that blessing in my life sooner rather than much later when i'm fat and old. I pray every night to be worthy of it, and i'm still waiting and longing for it....

To close this out, i saw a poem today and thought it might could possibly maybe kinda sorta perhaps most likely apply to this whole thing.

"Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village malls.


But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering---waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.


"When i reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. But, sooner or later we must realize that there is no station, no one place to arrive once and for all. The true joy of life is in the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.


"Relish the moment" is a good motto. It isn't burdens of today that drive man mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fears of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough."-- "The Station", by Robert J. Hastings

"Just Enjoy the Show"

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land, and air, with all our might and with all our strength that God can give us. . . .That is our policy. You ask, What is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory--victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror; victory, however long and hard the road may be."  [Churchill: the Life Triumphant, American Heritage, 1965, p. 90]

Doesn't that get you just pumped up?!?!?!?!

Whatever good thing we face in life, there's always some sort of problem or challenge attached to it. It's guaranteed for the most part. "When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other". Sure...a lot of the time you can endure while kicking and screaming until you're blue in the face and then after a while it subsides. For anyone that has any sort of friends, you all know that that is the waaaaaay hard path to take. It gets you there, but causing grief to you and others. Surprisingly, it is easy to avoid. (For someone like me who has been known as a big worrier, this is definitely something i should take the advice of, huh?) It is in the HOW you face it and deal with it; that is how you grow and succeed.

(To start...i have some self-incriminating. Recognizing my weaknesses right away isn't a sign of putting myself down, it's just making myself aware of something to work on.)

-When it comes to failing a test or an assignment, i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to not landing a job that i want, again...i get upset but i get over it soon after.
-When it comes to dating and getting turned down......yeeeaaahhhh....not so much that soon after.

While i have my "Captain Obvious" cape on, i'll just say that im a vocal person certain facets. Particularly in competitive circumstances and when i'm being stubborn. When disappointment hits in areas such as dating, my family and friends and many-a-roommate have heard about it...many times, to say the least.

While being back home in Colorado for the week break before the Spring semester starts, i've done a lot of sitting and staring off into space; to contemplate of course...And while looking ahead to the next semester, im working on curbing my attitude when it comes to dating disappointments. Just recently, i learned about another situation where i got my ticket down to the "friend zone", where i have been a frequent visitor in the past. At first, it was a little bit bummed out, but minutes later after processing it, i came to terms with it. Why? Well why not? If that was going to happen, then there's nothing i can do about it. I'm not going to beg or plead for a change of mind. It's a "Dang...but, oh well!" Gotta move on, simple as that.

Some things tend to take awhile for my mind to soak it all in, but when it does it usually stays there.

There's a quote from my oldest brother's high school graduation many years ago with a line at the end that says: "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how i react to it."

To dig into the Book of Mormon, there's the story of Laman and Lemuel. Sure, they made the trip from Jerusalem to the wilderness, back to Jerusalem, back into the wilderness for the next 8 years and then a boat ride to the Promised Land...but we read how whiny and a bunch of murmuring pansies they were. They endured through the challenges, but not well. When Joseph Smith was incarcerated in Liberty Jail through a freezing Missouri winter, the Lord told him "if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes". (Doctrine & Covenants 121:8)  Although the conditions sucked, he did endure it well and was taught many revelatory things by the Lord.

So the lesson i want to learn here is...just enjoy the show. Things come and go and happen for a reason. No need to give myself an ulcer constantly showing anger or emotion. Yeah, it'll show at first, but quickly getting over it is the goal. Speaking of "just enjoy the show", i took that from watching Moneyball the other night. To be more scriptural:

"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."


So...Just Enjoy the Show.