(DISCLAIMER: this are just my personal opinions, so you can add to them or discuss if you wish)
I figure that since i want to be someday a marriage & family therapist, so giving advice/council is what i'll be doing. So why not practice now? So this will be the start of a little series on things about relationships and such. A lot of it has come from or influenced by my marriage prep class, which has quickly become my favorite class full of useful info. So...
COMMUNICATION
For an analogy to help with this, i'll chose what i call the "relationship house":
The foundation is built on trust---without it, the whole thing falls apart. Trust is everything.
the walls with friendship---the basics to which you can build on and add to.
the windows of honesty---you want nothing to hide
the roof that caps it all off is love---seals everything in the house and protects from outside influence.
and I believe that communication is the mortar that keeps it all together---fills in all the tiny cracks to keep the walls and roof up.
(You can tell if one of these is weak and needs repair. If not, then the whole thing could crumble bit by bit until it's destroyed.)
To start off, in a relationship the communication is small. When a couple first meet and go on dates, things are at the simple stage of just asking questions getting to know the other person. Pretty innocent, right? But as the courtship/relationship increases, then there should be a positive correlation in the communication increasing. By the time the couple is serious and on to marriage, then the communication should be open and free with the other person, since you are supposed to be sharing many things as a married couple.
A quick tip:
-if you have something to tell someone, SAY IT! Don't coward away at the last minute or make it seem like a riddle that has to be solved. We're all adults here (hopefully). For instance, i greatly appreciate when im told something up front and honestly, even if the news i hear sucks. But at least i was told, right?I guess im one of those bold types that would rather hear that.
I firmly believe that so many arguments and fights could be avoided if people just communicated. Money problems, something maybe someone took offense at, assumptions, etc. could be taken care of if people said what they meant. Give it a try...
